Because She Was Different
by CaskettMyHeart
Summary: Kate Beckett started her job as a detective for a few weeks now. It's the Christmas after her mother's murder. She and her colleagues go to a club where she runs into the person who helped her through the first months after her mother's murder, through his books. She meets The Richard Castle. Romance,Drama, Hurt/Confort for later chapters NOT A SONGFIC! just the first chapter
1. More Than A Message

**Chapter 1. More Than A Message.**

Kate Beckett was a new detective at the NYPD. 23 and already a detective. For a few weeks now she was working with Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan. They had just closed a case. Their second weird one, and they made the promise that, if they were all up to it, they would go to a bar. And the first time, after a difficult case, it was Esposito's choice, now it was Kate's.

She wanted to try a new bar. A new start. It had almost been 1 year since her mother was murdered, and 1 year since she changed from a normal girl that had fun to a serious detective.

Captain Montgomery had found her nosing through her mother's case. She had spend some time in the 12th and had found clues from a strange case that no one ever could have thought of. She was good, and she liked solving murders. Not that she liked the reason for the job, you know, people getting murdered, but she could relate to the people on the other side of the conversation telling them their loved one had been killed, so she felt good doing her job.

3 days ago, she took another way to work since there had been an accident on her normal route to the 12th. And she had passed a bar, The Old Haunt, which seemed fun. There was a big sign outside that said: _Friday:_ _Karaoke Night!_ And she liked Karaoke, it said a lot about a person. Which song they sang, even if they couldn't really sing, if you had the nerve to try, you were already a winner.

So she led Ryan and Esposito to the bar. When they pulled out in front, and Esposito saw the sign he laughed. "A Karaoke night? Karaoke?" he questioned laughing. "Yeah, Why not?! It's fun and hilarious!" Kate optimistically said.

"Sure. Count me in." Ryan smiled and then turned to Esposito. "Come on, this will be fun!"

"Fine… but I'm not singing!" Javi agreed and they walked through the entrance.

As they walked into The Old Haunt they saw that it wasn't over crowded, but most of the seats were taken. The trio sat down at a table and ordered their drinks. "Hey, if you guys don't mind, I'm going to ask Lanie if she joins us. Is that okay?" Esposito asked. "Sure. But then I think you should expect going up that stage and sing a song!" Kate smiled and Ryan agreed.

Kate and Ryan both knew that in the little time Esposito and Medical Examiner Lanie Parrish had spend together, they came to know each other well, and Everyone knew there would be more than just friends. But Esposito and Lanie joked around the subject.

Lanie was free, and arrived 5 minutes after Javi had called her. When Lanie had her drink, she immediately brought more fun into the group.

"Hey, is someone going to go up there or do I have to start?" Lanie questioned as the person who was singing a song on stage ended.

"Nu-uh, I'm not going up there!" Javi said. "I'll… I'll just wait a bit more…" Ryan shyly laughed.

"What about you Kate?" Lanie asked.

"If you go, I'll go later." she said and by the look Lanie gave her she quickly added a maybe. She didn't really want to go up the stage. But she liked watching people sing.

"Okay, then… see you guys on stage!" Lanie said as she walked towards the bar, picked a song, and went up the stage. When Lanie started singing, Javi couldn't keep her eyes of off her.

Lanie sang a slow song, that was beautiful for her voice. When she was done, she got a round of applause and walked back to the table her friends where sitting. Cheering for her as she made a bow.

"Thanks you," she smiled, "Now Kate, your turn!" Lanie said as she sat back down.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom first." Kate said as she walked away from the table.

Kate rushes into the bathroom. She wanted to have fun, go up on stage and just have fun. But she felt like she couldn't. Not after her mom was murdered. About a year ago she was having the time of her life, going ice skating with her mom. Having fun! And they even did a karaoke night just a few days before she was killed. So for the first time she questioned herself why she had come to this bar, on this night. She couldn't do this… she wasn't ready to have fun doing things she used to do with her mom.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Her long brown locks of hair hanging over her shoulders. She had makeup on so she decided not to splash water in her face. Then the makeup that covered the dark circles below her eyes would be gone. And everyone would see that she hadn't been sleeping. She had nightmares every single night. So how could she possibly sleep…

She straightened her posture, took a deep breath and thought about what excuse to use for dragging them to a karaoke night and then not singing herself. She walked out of the bathroom straightening her long shirt she was wearing. So she didn't see it when a guy came towards her. He was walking backwards saying something to some friends of his when he bumped into Kate.

"Sorry." They both said as he turned around and their eyes locked.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." He said still looking in her eyes.

"Yeah me neither. Sorry about your drink…" she said.

He shrugged as she looked at him with a closer eye. "You…" she started, a little confused and startled now that she saw who the person in front of her was. "You are Richard Castle!" she said.

"Yeah. Nice to meet you. Uhm…" he smiled

"Beckett, I mean Kate."

"Well Kate, nice to meet you. So you read my books?" he spoke as she smiled. She was reading his books and found them the perfect distraction. She knew he was just an upcoming author, but he was already a bestselling author for his first few books.

"Yeah, I do. I love them. But shouldn't you be at a book signing, or a party instead of a karaoke night in an old club?" she asked. And as soon as she said it she wished she could take it back. She barely knew him.

"Well, why wouldn't I want to be at the karaoke night of _my_ old club?" he laughed.

"God, sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't know you own a club."

"No worries. Most people don't know. I try to keep it under the radar so that I can come here and just have fun without a camera flashing pictures of me."

"Understandable." Kate smiled.

"So, are you going to sing tonight?" he asked her.

"Well, I was going to. But… I don't think I won't. My friend was just up there though…" she tried to change the subject and he got that. He saw her eyes get just a little sadder and the smile not reaching her eyes.

"Oh, so that was your friend? She was wonderful." He smiled, going along with her.

"Tell you what. If I go up there, and make a complete fool out of myself, singing a song, you go after me, and so you sound even better than you already are." He smiled. He wondered what she would sound like.

"Maybe another time." She smiled. Again, the smile not reaching her eyes. "But, since I get the chance here to talk to you, would you sign my book?" she shyly asked as she pulled her copy of his first novel out of her purse.

He was surprised. "Happy to do it. Do you always carry a book in your purse?" he asked as he took the book from her. He could see it was from the first copy ever made. So she was a fan from his book since the very beginning? He liked that. And he could see that it was a book that she read more than just a few times.

"Yeah, only the ones I like." She blushed. As he wrote in the book she gave him.

"I'm glad you like it then." He smiled as he returned the book.

"I should get back to my friend before they get worried." She smiled. "it was nice meeting you Mr. Castle."

"It's Rick. You can call me Rick. And likewise." He smiled as he watched her walk over to her friends.

Kate sat back down. Lanie immediately started asking questions as she noticed Kate talking to someone, holding the book, blushing… she needed details!

"I just met… Richard Castle" she laughed at Lanie. Laughing with a smile that reached her eyes for the first time since what felt like forever. "He signed my book, and we talked." She said, "That's all Lanie!" she added as she saw the look on Lanie's face.

"Okay… if you say so." Lanie spoke," so are you going to go up there and sing or what?" she asked as the trio looked at her.

"Sorry Lanie, I think Rick there is first." She said as she pointed toward the stage with her head. Making the trio look in the direction Kate was looking at. Richard Castle was on stage and he was going to sing.

And he wasn't just going to do karaoke, he was going to sing an acoustic song.

"Hi everyone." He spoke into the microphone. "I'm going to do a song for someone here in the audience, and I think the person knows I'm talking about her. It's the acoustic version. And I know Christmas just passed and everyone is looking forward to new year. But I'm going to do a Christmas song, called Christmas Love"

He sat down as he gave the start sign for the guitar player next to him to start. The guitar strums where beautiful as he began to sing.

"_Hey angel in the snow,_

_I'm under the mistletoe._

_You are the one,_

_You're my very own Christmas Love._

_Tell Santa I'm cool this year,_

_My present is standing right here._

_You are the one,_

_You're my very own Christmas Love."_

That was the part she loved the most. She knew he didn't mean is at her being his Christmas love. She just met the guy! But it was sweet…

As he finished his song, stood up and got a round of applause. She smiled to herself. She watched him as he walked to his seat and talked to one of the waiters. The waiter took some drinks and headed over to their table.

"Mr. Castle would like to treat you all for a drink. And to a certain Kate, he told me to tell you: "Your turn." The waiter smiled and headed back towards Rick.

Before she could convince herself that she should go up that stage and have fun, she read the dedication he wrote to her.

"Dear Kate,

I've never signed a copy of my first book ever made,

Because it wasn't my first bestseller…

Thanks for being a fan from day one.

It was a pleasure to meet you and,

I hope we'll meet again someday.

Until then. –Rick"

and below that was his autograph. As she smiled to herself she knew she would see him again. Because from this moment on, this was her favorite bar. But now she had to make up her mind…

She gathered the courage to go to the bar and pick a song.

"Looks like I might see you up that stage after all, huh?" Rick stated more then asked.

Kate just returned a smile as she walked toward the stage. "Enjoy!" he yelled after her.

She wasn't sure if she was going to make it through the hole song, but she would try. Because the song she picked helped her a lot through her mother's death, along with Rick's books. It was normally a song about an old love. But most of the lines applied to her, and the first time she heard it, she just thought about her mother.

"I'm going to sing a song that means a lot to me, it's called Stay." The hole room went quite as the melody started to play and Kate's voice matched it perfectly.

"_Well it's good to hear your voice, I hope you're doing fine_

_And if you ever wonder, I'm lonely here tonight._

_I'm lost here in this moment and time keeps slipping by_

_And if I could have just one wish I had you by my side…"_

And just like that, every single person in the bar was looking at her. She couldn't see them because she closed her eyes. But no one was moving. Everyone was listening to the beautiful voice with so much emotions.

Rick noticed that it was more to her then just a song. It was a more of a message. A message to a person she loved so much, but she had lost them. And he could just feel all the feelings of Kate in her voice. And by the emotions she knew it wasn't just about some old boyfriend.

"_Well I try to live without you, the tears fall from my eyes_

_I'm alone and I feel empty, God I'm torn apart inside._

_I look up at the stars, hoping you're doing the same_

_Somehow I feel closer, and I can hear you say_

_Oh, oh I miss you_

_Oh, oh I need you"_

And as the last words came from her lip he could swear he saw a tear rolling from the corner of her eye. Yes, this was defiantly not about just a boyfriend. It had to be about a relative? Her dad? Mom? Maybe a brother or sister? Or maybe a really good friend? One thing he did know, he wanted to find out. She's a mystery and he's going to solve it.

As she song ended the crowd went crazy. No whistling or shouting like with other people, no… a huge round of applause. "Kate, you okay?" Lanie questioned as she saw Kate whipping that one tear away.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little emotional that's all." She smiled.

"Girl, why didn't you tell me you could sing like that?" Lanie asked, trying to get the mood up a bit.

"So it was good?" Kate asked

"Good? It was awesome!" Javi said before Lanie could open her mouth.

They all laughed some more before deciding to call it a night.

Rick spotted Kate at the exit and ran after her. He didn't want to interrupt with her friends, but now that she was alone, he would try and talk to her. He wanted to get to know her.

"Hey, Kate." he said as she turned to see him running after her.

"You sounded beautiful! And there wasn't anyone who went up that stage after you. Not for the entire night! Everyone thought it was awesome!"

"Thanks." Kate smiled shyly "and you weren't so bad yourself Rick. And singing a song to a woman you just met? Very sweet."

"Who said it was about you?" Rick smiled. They both knew the answer.

"Well, I have to get home." She said as she looked up into his beautiful blue eyes. And before he could ask she already answered him, "yes, you will see me again. From now on this is my favorite bar." She smiled "Goodbye Rick", she turned around and walked out of the club.

"Goodbye Kate." he smiled after her. So he would get a chance to figure out this mystery. He wanted to, because she was different.

She was different, in a way that he could only describe as extraordinary.

**XOXO**

**So that was the first chapter. I hoped you liked it.**

**Reviews are like cookies, you can't get enough of them. So I'd love to see some**

**And If I get enough reviews, I'll continue.**


	2. Meet The Friends

**Chapter 2. Meet The Friends.**

**It's not as long as the first chapter, but most of them won't be. The first one was that long because I wanted to put it up in 1 chapter instead of splitting it in two.**

**I also wanted to say to the people also reading my other story: The Tide Turned, I think I have a story to go on with it, but idk if it's going to work out.**

**Another thing: The updates: normally I'm going to update once a week (Friday night) seeing that the chapters take a few days to write. But if I get lot of reviews (which I was kind of sad seeing it are only 4) maybe sooner…**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

It was December 30th when Kate and her gang went back to the Old Haunt. Normally Ryan would've picked a place, but he didn't know any good clubs and he liked the drinks. So he claimed…

They just solved another hard case and they were given the night off. If there were no new cases tomorrow, they wouldn't have to work.

This was Kate's first New Years Eve since she worked at the NYPD.

Last year Kate had spend her New Years Eve with her parents in their cabin. They did it every year, except this year. Because her mother had been murdered. And her father wasn't really the company she wanted. He was worse than her. But she had no idea how bad it actually was.

When they saw their table from last week wasn't occupied they went over to their booth and Kate went to get drinks. She looked around if she maybe saw Rick around but he wasn't there.

_Just because he's the owner doesn't mean he has to be here all the time…_ she thought to herself. As she got theirs drinks back to their table she saw Rick walking in the club with 2 other people. A little redheaded girl and an older woman, who looked a lot like Martha Rogers. But she was probably doing a play right about now. But on the other hand, she had just met her favorite author last week. Anything's possible right?!

She smiled to herself as she set the drinks down. "Hey, I'm going to say hi to Rick, I'll be right back." She said as she got a look from Lanie, telling her she would need all the details later. She shot her a oh-shut-up look back and walked towards Rick.

"Hi Rick!" she said as he turned around to meet her gaze.

"Kate! hi." He smiled.

"Daddy, who's Kate?" the little redhead asked Rick.

"Alexis, this is Kate. A new friend of mine." He smiled as he glanced over at Kate to see her reaction on her status. "Kate, this is my little pumpkin, Alexis."

"Nice to meet you Alexis" Kate smiled at the little girl. She looked about the age of 6.

"Nice to meet you to Kate" Alexis smiled as she turned back to her drawing.

At that point the woman who looked a lot like Martha Rogers joined them. "Richard dear, who's this?"

"Hello to you to mother." Rick smiled at the woman. "Mother, this is Kate. Kate this is my mother."

"Martha Rogers, nice to meet you" Martha smiled as she shook Kate's hand.

"So you really are Martha Rogers?! I love your work! And your son's to! So it runs in the family heah?!" Kate joked and they all had to laugh.

Martha leaned down next to Rick's ear and whispered, "I like her, she's different." Then stood back up straight and turned to Kate. "It was nice to meet you but now I must get going."

"Where are you going mother?" Rick asked knowing what his mother might be up to.

"I'm going to see that nice man at the end of the bar with no ring on his finger." She smiled as she took her drink of the counter and walked over to the older man.

Kate just tried not to laugh to hard as she saw the look on Rick's face.

"Yeah, she does that…" he said awkwardly.

"So you have a daughter?" she more stated than asked.

"Yeah, I do." He smiled, "she's 6. But she sounds a lot smarter for her age. Normally I don't bring her with me on a night out. But since my mother wanted to go out, I wanted to see you again. And I can't just leave her home alone, what kind of parent would I be then." He joked.

"So her mother's not in the picture?" she asked before she could think about it. "never mind, it's none of my business." She immediately said.

"You don't have to apologize. And no she isn't. we divorced 3 years ago. She lives in LA now for her acting career."

After that she didn't really know how to start the conversation again until Lanie joined them.

"Hey Lanie. This is Richard Castle, Rick this is Lanie." She introduced them. "Since I met your family you get to meet my friends now to I guess."

"It's nice to meet you." Lanie smiled, "You should come and join us. The boys want to know who keeps their friend away from them for so long." She smiled.

"Yeah, and of course Alexis to" Kate said as Alexis looked up.

"Sure. I'd love to meet your friends."

After Kate introduced Rick and Alexis to her friends, they all sat down in the booth together. Lanie and Esposito opposite of each other against the wall. Ryan next to Esposito, with Alexis next to him. He was so good with Alexis, even though they just met a couple of minutes ago. Kate sat next to Lanie and Rick next to her.

"So, how do you all know each other?" Rick asked the gang.

"We work together." Kate said, "Javi and Kevin are my two colleagues and Lanie is the Medical Examiner."

"Wait, ME? So what do you 3 do then?"

"We're Homicide detectives." Javi said and took another sip of his drink.

"Wow. Cool!" Rick smiled, "I never figured you for a cop Detective Beckett, maybe a lawyer, actress or model, yeah sure. But a cop? No never thought of that." He made her blush.

"Yeah well, your first guess would be right. I was going to be the first female chief of justice. But I changed careers about a year ago. And instead I became the youngest female detective." She smiled, but he could see it didn't reach her eyes.

"Why the sudden change?" Rick asked her. He saw her staring into her drink and Lanie was looking at Kate with a sad look. He knew he had said something wrong too soon.

"Never mind, it's none of my business." He repeated her earlier line.

"No, don't be sorry," Kate said as she looked up in his beautiful blue eyes. "It's just a story I don't like to tell." Ryan and Esposito also had a sad look in their eyes.

Rick nodded catching himself in wanting to say sorry again.

"So any cool cases?" he asked trying to get the good mood up again. And it worked.

They talked about their work and cases some more. And Rick just fell in love with the weird cases they got to deal with.

As they went towards the end of their evening Rick asked the gang, he got to love so much over the last 3 hours, what their plans were for New Year's eve.

"We were thinking about spending the night together as friends." Lanie as Esposito and Ryan nodded. "Kate, you're coming to right?"

"I thought about spending my evening enjoying a glass of wine and a pizza in my living room." Kate answered.

"Oh Kate, you're going to spend the night alone? No boyfriend to kiss when the ball drops?" Rick asked.

"No, he's in Boston at the moment. Will's an FBI detective and he has a case he's working on." She mumbled and took another sip of her drink.

"Then I'd be glad to ask you to join us for the night! It'll be fun." He smiled.

Kate thought about it for a sec. "And of course Lanie, Javi and Kevin can come to! We'd love to have you at our loft!" Rick smiled and Alexis added an exciting "Yeah!"

Lanie, Esposito and Ryan thought about it for a sec. "Sure, why not! It's more fun with 6 than 3." He smiled.

"It would be even better if we were with 7." Rick added as he turned to Kate. "Come on Kate. You can't spend New Year's Eve alone!"

"Okay. I'll come." She said. Not really convinced about her own decision. She didn't really want to be alone, but she wanted to pick up her life again. And she could do that by spending tomorrow night with her friends. It would be something to distract her from the fact that this was her first New Year's eve without her mom. And since her dad was in his cabin away from the city to grief she wouldn't have him as company to. So why not? She asked herself as they all started saying their goodbye's.

Rick gave all of them his address and phone number. Ryan was the first one the leave the bar. Followed by Lanie and Esposito pretty soon. Kate walked out of the club with Rick and Alexis.

"Shoot, I forgot I drove with them." She mumbled to herself as she grabbed out her phone to call a cab.

"Let me drive you!" Rick practically shouted, "my car is right here. Just tell me where I need to drop you off and it's done."

"Are you sure? I don't want to keep you away from home any longer…" she said as he shook his hea.

"No problem Kate. I'm happy to help." He smiled.

She got in the car, told him her address and they drove off.

They drove in silence. When Rick looked in the mirror he could see Alexis had fallen asleep.

"She's a sweet girl." Kate smiled as she saw the smile on Rick's face. That proud-to-be-a-father smile.

"Yeah she is. Sometimes I think she's too good to be my daughter," he laughed. "I always broke the rules when I was young, you know… grabbing a cookie out of the cookie jar before dinner. That kind of stuff. But she never does anything like that." He said.

As she looked at him she could see that bright sparkle in his eyes. "She rather reads a good book then play a video game." He laughed at the thought. "But of course, she loves to play with the lazer guns with me. I hope that won't change. But other than that, she's so unlike me or my mother. And she certainly doesn't take after Meredith, her mother. Other than the color of her hair." He let out a chuckle. "But trust me, it's a good thing." He smiled.

"You're not so bad Rick." Kate smiled and turned her attention back to the road. "There's my building."

He pulled up in front of it as she grabbed her purse. "Thanks for the ride."

"Always." He smiled back. "Send me a text when you get inside?" he asked as she looked at him in confusion.

"Rick, I'm a cop, I can look after myself. Or do you want to walk me up?" she questioned.

"I'd do that but I just meant it so that I got your number if I needed to reach you." He laughed as her face turned just a little red from embarrassment.

"Sorry." She said as she opened the door and got out of the car. She leaned back inside, "I'll text you. Bye." And shut the door.

She got in her apartment building and he drove off. She got to the right floor and got inside her apartment. She kicked of her shoes and threw her keys onto the kitchen counter as a habit and took of her jacket before pulling out her phone.

She sat herself down on the couch and shot him a text.

"G'Night Rick. See you tomorrow. x"

And only a few seconds after she got a reply from him saying:

"_Until Tomorrow Detective. Sweet Dreams! ;)"_

**XOXO**

**My tummy loves cookies and the writer in me loves reviews ;)**

**I gave you this update today bcs I have all day off school tomorrow. if I get enough reviews, and I finish writing chapter 4, I might update tomorrow. but only if I get reviews.**


	3. A Change Of Plans

**Chapter 3. A change of plans.**

**So I was stuck with two possibilities here. After asking my awesome helper (And very good writer: JessieWills) I went with #1. Read to find out what the idea was…**

**I also wanted to let you guys know, bcs a guest said something about Will, that Will doesn't work full time in Boston yet. He didn't get the offer yet. He's just there on a big case. So they are still together. (for now *hint hint*)**

**Enjoy!**

She smiled at the text she got and decided to get ready for bed. When she had changed into her pajamas she got herself a glass of wine and her herself down on the couch. When she finished her wine she got off the couch and started to walk towards her bedroom to go to sleep when she heard something at the front door. Without thinking twice about it she took her gun out of the kitchen drawer and aimed at the door. She slowly walked towards it and swung open the door surprising the man behind it.

"Will?" she questioned and lowered her gun.

"Hi Kate, you know how to surprise a guy." He said with a hand on his heart.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were in Boston!" she said as she turned around back into her apartment.

"'Oh hello Will, nice to see you' and a kiss would be nice." He said.

"Just answer the question Will."

"Yeah, but I thought I'd come to surprise you. I wanted to be here for New Year's eve tomorrow. You know… you, me together when the ball drops." He said as he followed Kate inside and shut the door.

When he turned back to her she had put the gun away and looked at him with a hand on her forehead. "Yeah, about that…" she started.

"Kate, don't tell me you have a case? The guys are covering for me so that I could spend the tomorrow with you." He wanted to continue but Kate cut him off.

"No, it's not a new case. It's a long story but we, me, Lanie, Esposito and Ryan, were going to spend the night with a new friend of mine. Rick."

The jealousy was all over his face the second Kate said his name. "And who might this Rick be, Kate?" he started to walk slowly towards her, demanding answers.

"Rick's just a friend Will. We just met each other in his bar when we were on a night out. I bumped into him, it's no big deal. He's a nice guy and asked us all to come tomorrow night."

"You just met him?"

"Yeah. And I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you would come with us." She stated to him.

"I'm not going to your new 'friend's' house with you." He started to get mad.

"Why not? Then you'll see there's nothing going on between us! I just met him! We just got talking over his books, he dedicated a song to me and we talked. As friends!" her voice was getting louder.

"About his books? He dedicated a song to you? Now I really want to know who this guy is! Who is he Kate?" he was practically shouting at her. She knew he was the jealous type, but there was nothing to be jealous about. And they fought before, but never like this.

"Wait? Rick, you mean like Richard? Richard Castle?" Will figured it out.

She just nodded like it was no big deal. But for Will it was.

"You mean the guy who you practically had a crush on when you were younger?"

She wanted to protest but he cut her off. "You mean the guy who's books you love so much you once stood hours in line just to get a minute of his attention? The one op page 6 with women hanging on his arms?" he was yelling at her and she just had enough.

"He's not like that! He's sweet, and totally not like the magazines describe him!" she yelled back.

"No Kate, you are not going to his place tomorrow night." His voice normal again but still mad.

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"I can when it comes to this! You're not going to see him tomorrow!"

"Get out of my apartment." She said to him. Her voice controlled. She didn't want to fight anymore.

"No Kate!" he took a step closer to her and took her by the arms. "You are not going to kick me out, and you are not going to see that guy tomorrow. I came all the way out here to see my girlfriend and I'm not going to let one guy ruin it."

"Will, let me go." She said in the same controlled voice. "And get out!"

"No. I'm not going anywhere." He said as he started holding her harder. Hard enough to bruise.

"Will, get out. If you're going to act this way because of a new friend then just get out and stay away. And don't come back if you're just going to be jealous over Rick."

"No Kate, you don't get to break up with me. Not after 6 months."

"Well I'm doing it anyway." She said as she got out of his hold and walked towards the door. "Now get out." She said as she opened the door motioning for him to leave.

"Kate, you're going to regret this."

"I don't think I am." She spoke as he walked towards her.

He cupped her face with both of his hands and kissed her firmly. "Now tell me that you didn't feel the love I feel for you."

Kate stood there for a moment then looked up in his eyes. "Goodbye Will."

And with that he took a step backwards, stared at her for a moment as she looked him straight in the eyes. Showing no emotions to him. "He'll never fall for you, you know?" He stated more than asked. "You're not the kind he falls for. You're to damaged. He'll never love you." And the next second, he was gone.

The second he was gone Kate felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. And that kiss… she just realized, it didn't mean anything. In the 6 months they've been dating, it never meant anything. He loved her, but she didn't love him.

6 months ago she just wanted to be loved again. After all the misery from her mother's death, she just wanted to be loved. And Will was there for her.

But he was never here anymore. He was always working… and why stay in a relationship that isn't going to work out anyway? If he was going to be so jealous over a friend, she'd rather have a friend more than a boyfriend she didn't even love.

And what he said about Rick… she didn't even feel that way about Rick. Yeah, she had, once, had a crush on him, but only because his books where so good. But not anymore. Or did she?

And he was right… she was damaged goods. He was never going to fall for her, she didn't know if she wanted him to, but what if she did?

She went to her bedroom and climbed into bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day…

Rick got home and carried his little girl up into his loft. He thought back to the talk he and Kate had in the car. not one of his friends had ever heard him talk like that. Because they didn't know Rick. They knew Richard Castle, the famous author who had to date blonde bimbo's and go out every weekend except for the holidays. His publicist Paula made him do it. 'Good for publicity' she had said. How, he didn't know. But he did as he was told because he had sold well and was now rich enough to support his family: His mother, himself and his daughter.

But with Kate he could just be Rick. She didn't seems like the regular kind of fan of his who said: "_I read all your books! Will you sign my chest?_" and then actually meant: _"I want to sleep with you to get a terrible picture on page six, we'll start by you signing my chest_."

Kate wasn't like that, and he knew that from the moment he'd met… bumped into her. She actually knew his very first books and read it more than a few times by the looks of it. And she had a story.

He loved to figure people's stories out. The writer in him did it automatically. And with Kate he had seen that she had been hurt. Not personally, but a person she loves, or loved. Someone close to her. And he knew it was part of the reason why she decided to become a Detective, in which he made the link that she had lost someone.

But of course, he didn't want to push. He wanted to get to know her. She seemed like the person he would want to get to know. And she was hot. But that was the famous playboy, or teenager, speaking.

He laid Alexis into her bed as she opened her eyes. "Hey pumpkin, go back to sleep." He said as he pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"Daddy, I like Kate and her friends. I'm glad she's coming tomorrow." she mumbled and added a muffled good night.

He smiled at his daughter, "Good night Pumpkin. Sweet dreams."

When Rick woke up he could only think of one thing. Kate and her friends were coming over, and he loved the thought that he was going to see her again.

But before that, he had a lot of work to do. And not a lot of time. He looked at the clock, it was already 10:00 AM. And he wanted to make tonight special. He wanted to impress his new friends and show them that he wasn't that playboy from page six.

He got up, took a shower and got dressed. When he walked into his kitchen he saw his daughter already up and his mother making one of her breakfast shakes. "Hello mother. Had fun last night?"

"Good morning Richard. And I think I should be asking you that question." She smiled, "I heard from Alexis here that Kate and her friends are coming over tonight."

"Yes they are." He smiled. "Good morning Pumpkin." He said as he kissed the top of Alexis' head.

"Daddy, when are Kate and all her friends coming over?"

"I don't know, but I'll get everything ready and then I'll text them to ask, okay?"

"Okay!" Alexis smiled and took another bite of her fruit salad.

When Rick eat brunch and made a table ready for tonight, he texted Lanie, Esposito and Ryan first. They agreed that all of them would meet at his place at 6 so they would have time enough to eat, maybe play some funny games or watch a movie. They all seemed like those kind of people that didn't mind a game of Pictionary or maybe a round of sing star.

Now he was ready to text Kate. he formed the words in his head and his thumbs flew over the touch screen. "_Hey Kate. 6 pm, my place, Okay? ;)"_ And then added the address.

He waited a few minutes but there was no response. His writers mind already flew to conclusions. But he told himself she was probably busy. She would be here. She would.

He put his phone back into his pocket and went back to preparing diner. He asked his friend Joe a favor. He owned an Italian restaurant and he would prepare a meal for 7 people for them tonight. But he insisted on making the dessert himself. He got a shower and put on the clothes he wanted to put on tonight.

But when it was 5 pm and he still hadn't gotten a response he got a little worried.

"_Hey Kate, I just hope you got my earlier message. Can you send me something back if you get this? See you soon."_ He hit the send button and decided he should get Alexis ready.

Kate looked at her phone. "_Hey Kate. 6pm, my place, Okay? ;)"_ and then there was his address. It was 3pm and she still hadn't eaten anything and she had just spend the time she was awake on her couch reading. Reading his dedication over and over again. And just in those few hours she had read his book 2 times. She felt depressed, just about the same feeling she had felt almost 12 months ago.

Will had made her feel good about herself again. Because he loved her, so she had loved him for doing so. Or she made herself believe that she loved him.

But now she was depressed again. She wasn't going to his place. She would just ignore him and he didn't care about her anyway so he wouldn't care if she wasn't there. She would just spend the night with a glass of wine and a good book. Alone.

But right now she felt like she needed a shower so she went to her bathroom, undressed, leaving her phone on her pile of clothes and turned on the shower. Trying to let the water wash her thoughts away.

She stayed in the shower so long that when she finally got out she heard her ringtone. She dried herself off and got dressed into her favorite skinny jeans and plain dark red V-neck shirt. Then she checked her phone. It was Rick, he had send her another text. _"Hey Kate, I just hope you got my earlier message. Can you send me something back if you get this? See you soon."_ She smiled at herself and started to doubt her decision. _No_ she thought, _I'm not changing my mind._

But would he worry if she didn't send anything back? She quickly typed a text and hit the send button. _"Sorry Rick, but I'm not going to make it tonight. Have fun without me."_

**XOXO**

**I didn't really know where to leave it. But this seemed like a good point. Not a big cliffhanger and about 3 and a half pages long… seemed right.**

**Ps: I updated today bcs I finished writing chapter 4. But I'm going to have to wait a week before putting chapter 4 up bcs I'd like to finish writing chapter 5 first. Maybe by then even 6.**


	4. New Year's Eve

**Chapter 4. New Year's Eve**

**This chapter is going to stop when the clock hits 00:01. So enjoy.**

"_Sorry Rick, but I'm not going to make it tonight. Have fun without me."_

Within seconds of her message she got a reply. _"Kate, is everything alright? Why can't you make it? It won't be as much fun without you…"_

She quickly typed a text back. _"Rick, I'm fine. I just changed my mind, Okay? I'm just staying home with a good book and a glass of wine. Tell the rest of the guys will you? Thx."_

And with that, she put her phone off, got herself a glass of wine, plopped down on the couch and opened her book.

Rick frowned. _Changed her mind?_ _Why would she change her mind?_ He thought to himself. Alexis and his mother were ready for tonight. He would first ask her friends if they knew what was up with them, but from her text he got that the other's didn't know. So he'd call her. And if she tried to ignore him he'd go to her place and find out himself. He knew something was wrong with her.

When he heard his doorbell, he was so glad they were all here.

"Hey! I'm glad you're all here." He said. "look, I'll just get to the point. Kate isn't coming, do you know why?"

"No… I thought she was going to be here already… she didn't tell me anything." Lanie said as she looked at the boys. From the looks of it, they didn't know any more than he did.

"Okay, I'm going to call her. She told me in a text she changed her mind and that she's fine but I think there's something more going on. But meanwhile, make yourself at home." He said as Alexis came running down the stairs. "Javi! Kevin! Lanie!" she smiled as Javi kneeled down so she was at eye level with the 6 year old. Alexis ran over and hugged him and hugged Kevin next. Then Lanie lifted the girl in her arms.

"Where's Kate?" Alexis asked as she played with Lanie's curled hair.

"I don't know. I think she'll be here soon." Lanie said.

"I'm going over there. She isn't answering her calls and it goes straight to voicemail. So her phone's off. I think she's trying to ignore us, but I don't care. I'm worried." Rick said to all of them as they settled in the couch.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Lanie asked as she put Alexis down and she went to play with Ryan and Esposito.

"No, I think it's easier if I just go alone. I hope I'll be able to convince her and be back before diner. But if I'm not, just start without me." Rick said as he put on his coat and took his keys.

He stood outside of her apartment building. he looked up at her floor and looked at her window. The lights were on. _That's good, that means she's home!_ He thought. He was so glad she hadn't lied to him. He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone and tried to call her again. Nothing… her phone was still off. And because her apartment didn't have a doorman, he could just walk in. he took the elevator up to her floor to think what he was about to say, or what he was about to discover. He raised his hand and knocked on her door.

He heard her footsteps approach the door. When Kate opened the door he could see the little smile she had on her face drop for a second before she spoke. "Rick, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at your loft?"

"You ask me? Why aren't you there? We were all looking forward to it. We all want you to come! So why don't you?"

"Rick- I… I barely know you…"

"And that's an excuse how exactly? Rick questioned, "Come on Kate, we're all worried!"

"Why would you be worried?"

"Because you're my friend now. Because I care about you." She found that to be the point to look down at her feet. "What's wrong Kate?"

"I'll need another glass of wine to tell that story." She said as she turned around and walked inside.

They sat down on the couch, opposite of each other. "So tell me Kate, why did you change your mind?"

"Will, my boyfr- ex-boyfriend, came over." Rick started to get the story already. But he didn't know even half of it yet. So she continued. "He was supposed to be in Boston yesterday and today, but he came back to spend New Year's Eve with me. And I told him that we were going to spend it with you and your family. And he got mad…"

"Why? Did you tell him he could come to?"

"Yeah I did. But he didn't like the idea of me being friends with you. I told him of the night we met and about yesterday, but he didn't care because he was jealous."

"Jealous of what?" Rick asked, but he had a pretty good idea.

Kate smiled at herself as she looked down at her glass of wine in her hands. "Of you and I." She said, and as soon as she realized how it sounded she added: "I know there's nothing to be jealous about. We're just friends and I told him that. That we just talked about your books and stuff like that. But it was then that he realized to you are Richard Castle."

He had a puzzled look on his face. "And why is that a problem?"

"Because… let's just say that a few years ago all my friends and me had a crush on their idol, and you were mine." She blushed and he smiled at that_. Cute,_ he thought. "And he knows that. And he knows about your reputation from page six." At that he sighed. Yeah… that was a problem that occurred sometimes. But it helped him sell books, so Paula, his publisher, made him do it.

Kate continued, "I told him there's nothing between us but he got mad and told me that I couldn't go to your place tonight. So I broke up with him."

At that Rick looked at her with a frown. "Just like that?"

"Yeah… I realized I didn't love him. And he kept me away from so many things. I- I had a hard time about a year ago, and he loved me… and all I wanted was to be loved again. So we got together… but I never really loved him. What I loved were your books!" she smiled.

"I noticed." He smiled as she stood up from the armchair and sat next to him on the couch.

"I'd rather have you as a friend than him as a boyfriend keeping me away from my friends." She said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders but she winced.

"Kate? Did he hurt you?" he asked, worry clear in his voice.

"No, well he grabbed my arms at one point but nothing big." She said and looked as he pulled up the sleeved of her t-shirt a bit so he could have a better look at her arms.

"Kate, this is nothing! If he ever comes near you again, I'll kill him." He said in a serious tone. He really cared about her. And if anyone hurt her, he would kill them.

"I'm the one with the gun Rick." She smiled and she hugged him back. "Thanks for coming, although I told you not to."

"It's what friends do. Always." He smiled.

"So? Are you coming back with me for diner? I made the dessert by the way…" he smiled as she thought for a moment. She felt good around him, so why not.

"Sure. Should I change?" she asked uncertain.

"No, what you have on is beautiful! And everyone is just dressed casually. You are going to be the prettiest of all!" he smiled as she took her leather jacket of the couch and put it on. "if we leave now, we'll be back just in time for diner." And with that they were out of her apartment.

As they walked into the loft they saw everybody, except Javi and Alexis, who were playing hide and go seek, sitting at the table. Just talking but not eating yet. "Look who I brought with me!" Rick smiled as Kate stepped into sight.

"Hey Kate! Why didn't you want to come?" Lanie said as she stood up and walked over to Kate to hug her.

"Do you mind if we don't talk about that tonight. I'm here now, that's all that matters." Kate sighed. "So, who's ready for diner?" Rick said as Alexis and Javi walked into the room.

"Kate!" Alexis exclaimed as she ran to Kate who squatted down to hug the little girl. "I'm glad you're here. I was afraid you weren't going to come…"

"I'm here now sweetie." She said as she picked her up. "Ready for diner?" she smiled as they all sat down to eat.

"Diner was delicious Rick!" Lanie said.

"You'll have to thank my friend Joe for that. He made this meal specially for me. But I did make the dessert. But that's for later." they all sat down to watch a movie after diner. Esposito and Lanie took one of the two couches, Ryan took the armchair while Alexis sat on his lap, Martha, Kate and Rick took the couch opposite of the TV. Alexis got to pick the first movie. She picked Another Cinderella Story. She loved that it was different from the original and was one of her favorite movies. Esposito and Ryan had soon gotten bored and they were playing a game of cards. Martha joined them soon as Alexis joined Lanie at the couch. Kate and Rick sat closer and closer and by the middle of the movie, Kate was leaning into him as her head rested on his shoulder and his arm was around her waist. She didn't know why she felt so comfortable with him, but since she met him, he had been a really good friend to her.

She could feel his eyes on her every few minutes. And once she turned her head to catch him, but instead she noticed how close he actually was to her. His face was just about in inch away from hers. "Sorry," he whispered trying not to get anyone else's attention, "I just like to… watch you I guess." He chuckled and backed away. "Thanks… I think!" she smiled back.

"Don't worry, I'm not a psychopath."

"I hope not."

After the movie it was already 11pm. They all sat down at the table for dessert. "You all enjoy, I'll get dessert." Rick said. "I'll help you." Kate offered as she followed him into the kitchen.

"I made chocolate mousse, thought you might like it…" he said as he took the dessert glasses out of the fridge. "You're right! I do love chocolate mousse. I used to make it all the time before…" and then she stopped, realizing what she was saying and that he didn't know about her mother.

"Hey it's okay. You don't have to tell me." He said as he saw the sad look in her eyes. "I'm glad you came though. It really wouldn't be as much fun without you. And you saw how happy Alexis was to have you here."

"Thanks, for coming to my apartment I mean. I know I didn't ask you to, but I'm glad you did." She said as she put the dessert glasses on a tray. "Now let's eat dessert and watch that ball drop." She smiled as she walked back to the table.

"Rick dessert was absolutely delicious!" Kate smiled as they took the empty dessert glasses back to the sink. "Thanks." He chuckled, "Glad you liked it." He was staring at her. She had this beauty that he'd never seen before. _No wonder she had a boyfriend. That asshole, leaving her here alone on a holiday._ He thought as he thought about their earlier conversation. And he couldn't help but imagine how her ex was like. And how he would have helped her through that ruff time he knew nothing about. He, if he was her boyfriend, would have done a much better job at it. He thought about it, but he was her friend, not her boyfriend. _Not yet anyway… No. No I can't think like that. She's my friend, she needs a friend._ He thought to himself as his thought were interrupted by his daughter running into the kitchen.

"Come on daddy! It's almost midnight!" the girl exclaimed as she took a hold of Kate's hand. Rick came after them after grabbing a bottle of champaign and apple juice for Alexis for when the clock would turn to 00:00 and the new year would start.

Kevin already turned on the TV to the right channel as everyone took their, now filled, glass of the coffee table and sat down to watch the last minutes on TV before going outside to later watch the fireworks.

"You're supposed to give someone a kiss at midnight!" Alexis said as they all walked out into the cold winter air on the balcony. "I'll give you a kiss." Ryan smiled as he picked up the little 6 year old. "I think I found the person I want to kiss tonight to." Javi laughed as he turned to Lanie who couldn't help but smile.

"I'm good right here." Martha said as she looked at her son and Kate looking at each other. "Well I guess that leaves us together." Rick almost whispered at Kate as they started to count down the seconds to the new year. "5… 4… 3… 2… 1…" they all shouted together as they heard fireworks start. "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" they all laughed as Ryan gave Alexis a kiss on the cheek and Alexis gave one back. Lanie and Esposito didn't mind sharing their new relationship with everyone and went for the lips while Rick turned to Kate who looked at him with a slight nervous look. He leaned closer to her and when Kate though he was going to kiss her, he turned his head slightly to press his lips to her cheek.

"Happy new year Kate." he said in her ear.

"Happy new year Rick." She said back to him and hugged him tight. "Thanks again."

"Always."

**So… I thought about making them kiss right there, but then, a better idea came into my head. Next chapter will continue from this point. (I think I'm just going to take 2000, with all new technologie of course, as the new year bcs Johanna was murdered on the 9****th**** january 1999, for the people who might not know.)**

**Also, I'm stuck with chapter 6. (I wrote 5 in a day, so that won't be a problem, but…) as long as I don't get half of chapter 6 done, I can't promise to make next week's update.**

**I'd love to hear what you think about it! Please review!**


	5. Dreams And Nightmares

**Chapter 5. Dreams and Nightmares.**

**I uploaded this today bcs tomorrow I'm leaving for the weekend, and then on Monday I go 3 days away with my school. SO I'LL MISS CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MURDER! Noooo! I won't be able to watch it until Wednesday night.**

They all watched the fireworks together. When they got back inside, they decided to watch another movie. Alexis soon fell asleep in Kevin's arms. "I'll go tuck her in." Rick said as he took his little girl out of Kevin's arms and carried her upstairs to her room. "I'm going to sleep to." Martha said to everyone, "I have an early day tomorrow, rehearsing for my play, so goodnight everyone." she made her way towards her bedroom as everyone wished her a goodnight.

Kate and Rick sat together in the couch. Lanie and Javi cuddled up in the other one and Ryan sat in the armchair as they watched the movie end. "I think I'm going home. I don't want to make it too late, or early... Thanks for the great evening Rick." Kevin said as he said goodbye to everyone and headed out the door. Lanie and Javi stayed for another movie.

At the end of the 3th movie from that night, Kate had fallen asleep and she leaned against Rick. Javi and Lanie decided to leave. While Javi gathered their stuff Lanie walked over to Rick and the sleeping Kate. "I can see you care about her." Lanie said just louder than a whisper, "You make sure she gets home?" Lanie questioned.

"I have a guest room. I think I'm going to lay her there. I don't really want to wake her up…" Rick said as he looked back at Kate. he couldn't help but smile at the sight of her asleep. She was so peaceful and beautiful.

"Okay. Well, take care of her. Because otherwise… I know where you live." Lanie half joked.

"I'll do that. Now you two enjoy the rest of your night." Rick said as Javi joined them.

"We'll do. See you next time Rick." Lanie said and added a goodnight as they showed themselves out the loft.

Rick had sat there on the couch, watching Kate sleep. Careful not to move because he didn't want to wake her up. But as he was looking at her he noticed her face going from peaceful asleep to a kind of frown. His first thought was that she was waking up but when she started to move her head and squeeze her eyes shut, he knew she was having a nightmare. He had seen it once when she was watching Alexis sleep. "Kate? Kate, wake up." He said to her hoping he was right, and not waking her because of something else. When she didn't wake, he tried again and shook her a little. When he saw she opened her eyes he could see that she was confused and afraid. "Hey, Kate. It's okay. You're at my loft. Everything is alright." He said to her as she sat up and he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"Thanks for waking me up. How late is it?" she asked silently.

"It's 3 am. You fell asleep during the 3th movie and Lanie and Javi went home after that. Kevin after the second."

"I- I should go home." She mumbled as she stood up, Rick stood up with her. "It's too late, or early… just sleep here. I have a guestroom upstairs that you can use." He saw her considering. He was just about to say something when she agreed. "Yeah. Okay. Thanks Rick." She had a tired smile on her face. He figured she was too tired to argue with him.

"It's the last door on your left. I'll bring you a shirt and boxers if you like?" he questioned as she nodded and headed for the stairs.

When he had his shirt and boxers ready for her to sleep in, he went to his guestroom. He knocked on the door but there was no answer. "Kate?" he opened the door slowly to see her lying on the bed, asleep. He knew how horrible it was to sleep in jeans. _Would I be crossing a line if I put in on myself?_ He asked himself as he thought that she wouldn't mind. And he really didn't want to wake her again. So he took of her shoes and asked himself how the hell she ran in these heels. When he wanted to pull of her pants, he hesitated… he decided it might be better if he didn't. But he did pull of the thin jacket she was wearing and put the boxers and shirt on the nightstand.

He pulled the comforter out from underneath her and tucked her in. She was back peacefully asleep and he hoped she wouldn't get any more nightmares. Whatever nightmare she had. He leaned over her and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight Kate." and tucked a stray of hair behind her ear. She moved into his touch. He thought to himself how beautiful she was. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. And those were a lot. But she had this sadness in her eyes that was always there. It had disappeared when they were watching the movies and when she laughed, really laughed. Not just a fake smile that didn't reach her eyes. And then there were her lips. She could enchant him with every smile she made, and the way she bit her lip. _So Cute!_

But he needed to go to sleep and stop thinking about Kate in that way. That more-than-a-friend way. Maybe one day…

Rick was dreaming. It was a dream in which he was together with Kate and Alexis, she was playing with Kate and he was watching them and… then there was a scream… and suddenly Kate had vanished, so had Alexis… then he heard another yell. "Kate!" he woke from his dream and ran out of his room up the stairs. He realized Kate was staying over. She had a nightmare a few hours ago… she had it again… poor Kate. he thought as he opened his guestroom door. Kate was struggling with the sheets and sweating. He climbed up the bed and shook her awake. "Kate? Kate!" when she woke up she launched forward shaking her head around to look where she was. "Hey Kate. It's okay. it's okay." he kept repeating as he held her close as laid her head on his chest while hugging him firmly. When she finally calmed and got her breathing back to normal, she let go of him. "Thanks Rick."

"It's nothing. Do you want to talk about it?" he questioned a little unsure. But before she could answer his daughter and mother stood in the doorway. "Kate? Are you okay?" Alexis asked as she walked towards the bed and climbed up. "Yes Alexis. I'm okay. I'm sorry I woke you up…" Kate said with guilt in her voice. "Did you have a nightmare?" Alexis asked as she hugged Kate close.

"Yes, I did. But I'm okay now. You can go back to sleep." Kate said to the little girl as they released their grip on one another. "It's already 9 am. I don't think I'll fall asleep again." Alexis said.

"Alexis why don't you go eat breakfast pumpkin. We'll be right down." Rick said to his daughter as she nodded and walked out the door.

"You really okay Kate?" Martha asked as she stepped out of the doorway and into the room. "Because those screams really scared me…"

"Yeah… it's was just a nightmare that I had before. But this time, it was different. That's all." Kate shrugged.

"Kate, just a few hours ago, you were having a nightmare to, but I woke you up remember? How often do you have nightmares?" Rick asked her as he sat back down on the bed.

She didn't want to lie to him, but she didn't want him to worry. She bit her lips in that cute way, trying to figure out what to say.

"I'll leave you two to talk. I'll be downstairs." Martha said as she saw Kate was a little uncomfortable and this was a subject she was very protective about. Who wouldn't be?!

"Kate?" he asked her again now that his mother was gone.

"I've been having nightmares for about a year now." She said looking at her hands that rested on her lap. _So all this comes down to that event from a year ago…_ he thought to himself.

"But it's been good for about 6 months… when I was with Will… but I guess now, my nightmares are back." She sighed.

"Kate, you said something was different?" he asked, worried he might push her to far.

"Yeah… I normally don't say this to a new friend. Only Lanie, Javi, Kevin and my boss know. And my dad of course… but I trust you." She looked up at him, into his ocean blue eyes.

"Okay Kate, you can trust me." He almost whispered.

"On January 9th last year, me my dad and mom were supposed to have a family diner like we did every now and then. Me and my dad would meet my mom at the restaurant we were going because she had a big case. She was a lawyer. So we were at the restaurant waiting for her but she never showed…" her voice cracked and a tear ran down her cheek but she kept going, knowing that she would only tell him this once. "We went home, that's when we saw cops waiting at our house. I can still remember detective Raglan coming towards us and asking us if we where the family of Johanna Beckett." She took a deep breath as she whipped a few tears away. "My mom had been stabbed." And then she completely cracked and just let the tears flow over her cheeks as Rick held her. "Oh Kate…" he said as he kissed the top of her head as she locked her arms over his that was across her chest. "After investigating the case they said it was random gang violence. And they never caught the person who did it." She sobbed as she turned her head so her forehead rested against his chest.

"That's why you became a detective." He said slowly now understanding why she had this sad look in her eyes sometimes. Why she became a detective, why she had nightmares… he felt her nod against his chest. When she backed away she took a breath and looked in his eyes.

"Normally, I see her slumped against the wall of that alley. But this time…" he sighed.

"What is it Kate?"

"This time the person laying there wasn't my mother. It was you."

"Me?" he questioned a little surprised by her answer.

"Yeah… I care about you Rick." She admitted, "But I never had this nightmare with anybody else. Just this one time, with you." She looked back up into his eyes.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere." He reassured her. "I'm right here." He pulled her back into a hug and kissed her forehead.

"Thanks for being such a good friend." Kate smiled weakly, "I've only known you a few days, and most people would be terrified and just run away."

"Always Kate. I'm not going anywhere." Rick repeated.

"I know."

"Oh, and Kate. If you ever wake up from a nightmare again, and I'm not there, just call me okay. I don't care if it's in the middle of the night, just call. Okay?"

"Okay."

After a while Kate was back to her normal self, Rick left her alone to shower and get dressed. He had given her one of his joggings and a dark red shirt that would be more suitable for the day than a shirt with a batman logo on it. When Rick came downstairs Martha immediately asked if Kate was alright. "Yeah mother. I know why now. But that's a story for another time." Rick said with a small smile.

When Kate came down they all ate breakfast together and Alexis talked about how much she loved hanging out with Kate and her friends. When they were all done Kate thought about going home, but then she would be alone again… and she didn't want that.

"I should go home." She sighed as she put her dishes into the sink.

"Doesn't sound like you want to…" Rick said, "You can stay here if you're like. Hang out with us some more."

"I'd like that…" she smiled but then thought about it. "No. Rick I shouldn't. I have to go home, get some rest."

"You can rest here. Come on… Alexis and mother are going winter shopping today and otherwise we'll both be alone. This way, we'll at least have each other's company. And if you want to rest, my guestroom is all yours." He hoped she would take the offer.

"Okay. but I'll have to drop by my apartment at one point… I want to grab some fresh clothes, gloves, scarf. Maybe a good book to read... although, I could just borrow one of yours since you write my favorite books." She joked.

"Alright, I'll drive you." He smiled as he took his keys and she took her jacket of the chair and put it on.

**I didn't know where to leave it, so I just left it here. Idk if I'm going to let them just spend the day together and just write it in a few lines, or I'm going to make a chapter of it… I'll do both and depending on reviews, and what I think is best, I'll pick one.**

**If you have any idea's for future chapters: please put them in a review. I can always use the help.**


	6. Keeping an Eye on Her

**Chapter 6. Keeping An Eye On Her.**

**I am soooo sorry for not updating last week. I became sick again, not that bad but still… homework doesn't really help, and while I was away for 5 days I wrote more for my other story Wanting You than for this. Sorry, but here you get the next chapter!**

Kate and Rick arrived not much later at her place. Rick was wondering around in the living room while Kate was in her bedroom changing. "Nice book collection you have here." He smiled seeing all his books.

"Yeah, well, what can I say. I like the genre" she teased as she stepped into the living room. They decided on hanging out at Kate's apartment instead of going back to his loft. He wanted to get to know her more, and he wanted to spend time here since they hung out at his place yesterday.

She made them coffee and they just talked some more.

"So, now you know my story. Now I want to know yours." Kate said as she looked at him from across the kitchen counter, wondering if he would agree. And she was glad to see a little smile form on his face. "That seems fair. But what do you want to know?"

"I don't know… maybe why you became a writer? Or how you ended up having the smartest 6 year old ever?" she chuckled.

"Well, there's not much to tell about why I became I writer. I always wanted to be, and growing up without a dad, and a mother like mine… I had enough imagination. And well, I met Alexis' mom when we were both young. In collage actually. We had a short relationship before she told me she was pregnant… and I wanted to do the right thing and marry her you know." He sighed as he looked up at her for a second. She was studying him like he did with her just the day before. He looked back at his hands that were resting around the coffee mug on the counter. "After Alexis everything went south. She was more interested in her job then Alexis. And we grew apart." He sighed again and closed him eyes. He remembered the next part very well. "One day, I came back from an appointment with Black Pawn, and found Alexis asleep on the couch. So I tucked her in, then I went looking for Meredith. And looking back to it now it didn't surprise me, but I was still shocked to find her in _our_ bed, with her publisher." He stopped talking and looked up again to see a shocked Kate. he smiled to himself, "I was so mad at her. Not for cheating on me, I kind of knew we weren't going to last, but for doing it in our bed, that I threw out by the way… and with Alexis in the next room."

Kate didn't know what to say, or if she should say something. "I'm sorry that happened Rick." She said as she took his hand in hers from across the counter.

"Don't be. I'm glad it ended. And I have Sole Custody of Alexis because she was too immature to raise a child and she was more interested in her job anyway. She now lives in Malibu or somewhere in LA. I don't really know, I haven't seen her in a year I think. She came to visit Alexis but turned out, she was just here for an audition. And Alexis had just turned 6, and when she heard that her mother wasn't here for her, she was mad at her. I think she still is. She likes her mother, but Meredith will never be Alexis' mom. And I'm sorry if this scares you or anything but…" he said as he looked up again seeing her confused look. "But you, and you're friends became kind of close to her, and I think that you and Alexis have done more together than Meredith and Alexis ever did together. Well other then shopping..." He was glad to see a small smile covering her face.

"It doesn't scare me Rick. And from what I hear about Meredith, she's not cut out to be a mother. And as weird as it is, I think you are the first friend I had that I didn't meet at my work in a long time. And you've already become a really good friend." She said as she stood up from her bar stool to put her cup of coffee away and walked up behind him as he turned on his stool.

"Come on, let's get those movies out. You pick one while I'll make us some snacks." She smiled as she pulled him of the stool playfully and he walked toward the DVD collection she had next to his books on her book shelf.

They watched a movie of his choice, The Avengers, of course, and then she got to pick one. She didn't really know what to pick since she didn't really know what movies he liked, and she didn't want to pick something too romantic, but she thought a little humor wouldn't hurt so she grabbed out the DVD of 'Life As We Know It' and held it up for him to watch. "Is this okay? It's a romantic comedy… I don't really feel like a horror or thriller movie."

"Yeah sure, I saw that movie a long time ago. I liked it then so I'm sure I'll also like it now."

They settled down again. Kate and Rick on opposite sides of the big couch, but her legs were laid over his. But further down the movie they ended up with Kate's head leaning on Rick's shoulder. When the movie ended and she didn't respond or get up, he saw she had fallen asleep. He tried to move from beneath her without waking her up. She needed her sleep. He was glad she wasn't having any nightmares, or maybe not yet. When he put away all the dishes and cleaned up a bit, he went back to the couch to see that Kate was still asleep so he picked her up from the couch. Kate's head rolling towards his shoulder and putting her arm around his neck. He laid her on her bed and tucked her in for the second time that day. Hoping she would stay in this peaceful sleep. "You get your rest Kate." he smiled as he kissed her forehead. He looked at the clock and saw it was already 4 pm. He would wake her up for dinner if she hadn't woken from a nightmare before that.

He went to the spare bedroom and figured he could use the shower there since he hadn't had the chance to shower this morning. He grabbed a towel and stripped of his clothes before he turned on the hot water and got in the shower.

When Kate woke up from the sound of water running she was confused for a seconds before she realized that Rick must have carried her to bed. _Such a gentleman._ She smiled to herself. She didn't mind he used the shower. And thought it was thoughtful of him to use the guest bathroom and not her own.

She got up from bed and walked into the living room to find it perfectly clean. She smiled to herself as she thought again about how sweet he was. It was then that she saw him standing there. Will. He was leaning against the kitchen counter like nothing happened. But something did happen. They broke up after he accused her of being in love with Rick.

"What the hell are you doing here Will?!" she said as she carefully walked towards him seeing that something was in his system. Not enough to make him crazy, but she know by the dark look in his eyes that he wasn't thinking clearly.

"I came here to get you back." He said as she approached her. "But I guess you already hooked up with that writer boy."

She was speechless for a moment. "Will, we're over. Now get out of my apartment. You have no business being here and you're not thinking clearly."

"Oh but I am!" he said closing the space they had between them as she backed away but ended with her back against the couch and his hands holing her into place firmly pressing into her arms.

"Will, stop! you're hurting me!" she tried to make him stop but he wouldn't listen.

"I'm going to hurt you, like you hurt me yesterday!" he said as one of his hands grabbed her hair and threw her onto the ground with a firm yank on her hair. She flew against the wall and then down onto the floor. "Now I'm going to get you to feel the same pain I felt. And since I can't break your heart, I'm going to break your every bone until you beg for me to stop." he said as he walked over towards her while she desperately tried to get up on her feet. When she got up her closed his hands around her neck and lifted her so her toes where off the ground. He was so strong. Too strong. He was strangling her. She gasped for air and tried to get out of his grip but failed. When her eyes started drooping closed he let her go and she fell onto the floor once again.

But it was not over. Far from it. As she gasped for air to fill her lungs she felt a foot hit her stomach with so much force she coughed. And then again. And again.

Just as she thought he was going to kick her to death when she heard the water running. Rick was still here! She almost forgot! She called out for him between Will's kicks to her stomach and she heard the water turn off. So she tried again. "Rick! Help!"

"Kate?" she heard him ask for her. "Kate? What's wrong?" he said as she walked into the living room. Will turned around just to make eye contact with Rick before he ran out of her apartment.

"Rick…" she moaned from pain as she tried to lift herself up but fell back down.

"Kate? Oh my God, Kate!" he said once again while he kneeled down besides her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She said but it was immediately followed by a moan out of pain. "No." she said again as she felt his arms lifting her up.

"What happened Kate?" he asked wanting to know who that guy was he just saw running out of her apartment. "What did that guy do to you?"

"Will" she choked out as he laid her down on her bed deciding it would be more comfortable as the couch.

"I'll get you something to drink." He said as he saw the finger bruises form on her neck. When he came back with the glass of water and hand it to her. "Just try to breathe." He said as he sat beside her on the bed and helped her drink since she winced at every movement she made.

"I'm so sorry Kate. If I hadn't been in the shower or locked the door he wouldn't have had to the chance to –" he rambled but Kate interrupted him, "Rick. Stop. it wasn't your fault." She said as she put the now empty glass on the nightstand and laid back down.

"Still. I'm taking you to the hospital!" he said as he grabbed out his phone.

"Please Rick, not now. Not yet."

"Then I'll call Lanie to let her know what happened. Let her check you out!" he insisted and wasn't going to back down until she agreed.

"Fine. That fine by me." Kate smiled weakly as she sighed.

Rick took her hand as he called Lanie. He saw that they were shaking. "Kate…" he was really worried.

"Rick, don't. just call her. I'm fine."

Lanie got at Kate's place in record time. "Kate?!" she yelled out as she saw Rick waiting for her in the door to Kate's bedroom.

"Rick what happened to her? What did Will do?"

"It's a long story. Short version: she almost got strangled and she received a lot of kicks to her stomach." He said with a sigh.

"Oh my God!" Lanie said as she took her coat off. "I called Javi and Kevin. They put out an APB for Will and they're trying to track him down and arrest him."

"Good. I don't want that son of a bitch getting away with this." He said as he lead her into Kate's bedroom.

Lanie checked if Kate's ribs weren't broken. Lanie said that Kate's arm had blocked her ribs from getting broken but she still gave Kate a speech about going to the hospital to take and X-ray but Kate said she would go later. Kate just wanted a moment to let what happened sink in.

"You keep an eye on her, okay Rick?" Lanie more stated than asked while they were alone in the living room.

"Yes! Of course. It's ever my fault he got in here. I didn't lock the door when I took a shower and he wouldn't have had the chance to hurt her if I just kept an eye on things while she was asleep…"

Lanie interrupted him. "Hey, it's not your fault Rick. It's Will, he's the one that did this to her. Not you. Just take her to the hospital as soon as possible and take care of her. Me and the boys will make sure he gets behind bars." Rick nodded and Lanie walked out the door. "Oh and Rick?" she questioned turning around. "I can see you care about her. Maybe more, but just give her time okay? Don't give up on her too soon."

Rick smiled at that. Lanie could read him like an open book while most people didn't. "Yeah I do care about her, a lot." And then Lanie was gone.

Rick went back to check on Kate who was already asleep. And from the looks of it, not the good kind. She was having a nightmare. Again. He was just glad she wasn't screaming again. So Rick sat beside her on the bed and woke her up.

"Kate… are you okay? Were you having a nightmare again?" he asked but he knew the answer. She nodded, "yeah, but this time it was about Will and that you weren't in the shower. In fact you weren't here at all…" her voice cracked and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Hey, I'm here now. And I'm not leaving. I'll be here. I'll always be." He said as hugged her. When he pulled away she pulled him back to her.

"Would you do me a favor?" Kate asked shyly as Rick nodded. "Will you lay next to me and just hold me?" she wanted to explain herself but he already nodded as he crawled next to her in bed and held her close. "Thank you Rick." She whispered as she laid her head on his shoulder as he kissed the top of her head.

**I hope you don't shoot me for this chapter…**

**I didn't really know where to leave it, so I just decided to split it here. I'm not good at medical stuff, so if there is something wrong now, or in the following chapters, just put it in a review or PM and I'll correct it ;)**


	7. Safe and Sound

**Chapter 7. Safe And Sound/Someplace safe.**

**I didn't really know what title to pick so I put them both on. To the person who thought Will would never do something like that… yeah well, you don't really know people (even fictional characters) until you saw the bad side. And I think it was just some drama that I could use to bring them closer together.**

**-x-**

When Kate woke up, Rick was still asleep next to her in bed. She slept through the night, normally she would've woken up seeing that she was having nightmares for 2 days now. Other times they would only stop after a week or 2. But she felt so safe in Rick's arms that she didn't have one tonight. She smiled at the thought. She could get used to this… waking up beside him, sleeping in her bed with him. But she snapped out of the thought when she felt him stir below her hand.

"Good morning Kate." he smiled, "so? No nightmares?" she shook her head as she looked up to him Getting lost in those deep, bright blue eyes. She realized she was staring. "I'm sorry." She blushed as she moved out of his arm around her shoulder and awkwardly ran her hand through her hair on the back of her head.

"Don't be." He said as he moved to sit beside her, leaning against the headboard. "I'm just glad you could sleep properly." He smiled as he took her hand in his.

"Yeah, me to" she smiled back and caught herself going back to getting lost in those ocean blue eyes. But as if to save her from another awkward moment, her stomach growled, not that it was any better. "Come on, I'll make you some breakfast. What would you like?" he said getting up but she pulled him back with the arm that didn't hurt. "Kate" he laughed "in order for me to make you breakfast, I need to get out of the bed first. And we didn't have any diner last night so you need to eat." She growled at the facts and let him spoil her. "Eggs and bacon okay?" he asked as he turned to watch her nod at him before he went to make breakfast and she got dressed.

When she was dressed, he was already done with the eggs and bacon and putting on the plates to eat. "Wow, that was fast" she smiled at him.

"Yeah well, I got to practice a lot making breakfast for a kid that actually likes school and always wants to get there on time." They both laughed at that and ate the eggs and bacon.

"Rick this is the best breakfast I had in a long time."

"Well I'm glad you like it." Rick sighed and was very serious all of the sudden. "Rick what's…" Kate started but soon realized what he was thinking of.

"I'm fine Rick. Really, the only thing that hurts is my arm. Don't worry, I'll be fine as long as I don't see him again while I have my gun on me." She joked and sighed.

"I'm still taking you to the hospital, otherwise I'll have an angry Lanie and the boys at my front door. But if it's okay, I'd like to stop at my place first to change and say hi to my daughter."

"Rick you can go home, be with Alexis. I'm fine really! I will call if I need anything." Kate tried but he wasn't convinced. "Kate, how many times are you going to tell me you're fine when I know you're not? I'm talking you to the hospital to get you checked." He said as he walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders and she flinched at the contact and he pulled back immediately. He wanted to apologize but she was faster. "don't be." She sighed, "Fine, I'll go with you to the hospital."

They stopped at Rick's loft first to be greeted by Alexis. "Daddy! Kate!" she exclaimed "we went shopping and I bought this dress and it's beautiful and…" she rambled before Rick could get to words in. "Alexis pumpkin, I will hear about that dress and stories later but first I have to take Kate somewhere. He said as the small redhead nodded and he headed towards his bedroom. Alexis turned to Kate and hugged her once Kate squatted down. Kate felt a pain go through her arm but she didn't let the small 6 year old notice. "Where did you guys go yesterday?" Alexis asked as they walked towards the couch.

"I rested a lot and we watched some movies together."

"Disney movies?"

"No, not Disney movies, but I'll keep that in mind for next time." Kate smiled.

I'm ready. We should go." Rick said from the doorway watching the pair.

"Yeah, sure." Kate agreed.

"See you later pumpkin, I'll be home to hear about your stories in a couple of hours. But now I have to take Kate somewhere." Rick said to his daughter as Kate got off the couch. Rick grabbed a thicker coat and also grabbed a scarf for her. Kate thanked him as he put the scarf around her neck since she forgot hers at her place and couldn't put it on herself. He stared at her while doing so and she met his eyes for a second before looking down and realizing what he must be looking at; the bruises on her neck from Will's fingers. She noticed he sucked in a deep breath as he was frozen in place. She brought her hand up to his and took one into hers. "Rick, it's okay." she reassured him once again.

"I'm so sorry Kate…"

"Rick, I told you, it's not your fault." She said as he looked down and let go of her hand, still feeling guilty. If he had just locked the door, or just didn't step in that shower… then he felt her hand brushing his cheek and looked at her again while she traced the lines of her hand. She met his gaze, gave him a small smile that melted his insides and took his hand in hers again as she walked through the door, into the elevator and to the car where they were forced to let go to drive to the hospital.

It turned out, Kate didn't have any broken ribs like Lanie said because Kate had blocked the kicks with her arm. So she needed a cast on her arm. Her neck just had to heal, and rest. Rick was glad that she went with him to the hospital. He felt so guilty that it was good for him to hear she only needed a cast.

Rick was waiting outside after he had to make a phone call to Lanie, fill her in on the situation.

"Thanks doctor Davidson."

"Call me Josh please, I'm still not used to the doctor thing." She smiled a little awkwardly at him. "if I might ask, how did this happen?" he said as he turned back to her, waiting for her to pick a color.

She sighed, "Ex-boyfriend…" and picked the color purple.

"He didn't abuse you, did he?"

"Oh, no. He wasn't like that, he's a good guy, but I broke up with him when he got jealous over something that was actually nothing. Two days later, he comes back and we got into a fight, but my guess was that he was a drunk."

"You should report him to the police you know…" Josh said to her as he rolled the colored lair on the cast.

"I did, I am the police." She chuckled and got off the table when Doctor Josh Davidson finished putting the purple color on her cast.

"Oh, so you're a cop? Nice."

"No I'm a Detective with the NYPD actually."

"Even better. You should be alright _Detective _Beckett. Just let that arm rest and make an appointment to come back in 2 weeks. We'll check how it's healing then and maybe the cast an come off."

"Thanks again." She looked back over her shoulder and opened the door to see Castle sitting in the chair next to it.

"Hey, I'm all done. We can go back to my place now." Kate said as Rick got up and walked next to her through the hospital hallways.

"No way I'm letting you alone in your apartment Kate!"

"Rick, I'm fine! He won't come back!"

"You don't know that Kate! You are coming with me to the loft." He said as he stepped in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.

"Rick… I can't."

"Yes you can! I have a spear bedroom as you know, and we can stop at your place, pick up all the stuff you need, but please, just let me make it up to you!"

"Rick, you have nothing that you have to make up to me."

"Come on Kate. I won't sleep if I know you are alone, with that cast around your arm, and he's still out there!"

"Fine!" she gave in because she knew he was just going to make up more reasons for her to stay with him for a few days. "I'll stay with you for a week, then we'll see how I manage. Okay?" she asked and could see the joy in his eyes.

He nodded as he turned back and started walking next to her again. Out of the hospital, relieved that she wasn't hurt more than she was.

They stopped by her place, they packed a bag together. Rick did her clothes and she packed all her personal stuff like underwear, the picture of her and her mother, and a little bag with her bathroom stuff. They were done pretty fast and were out of her place in 20 minutes and on to their way to his loft.

He opened the door for her, carried her bag… he was a real gentleman. And she was not at all used to this! "Rick… are you going to stop treating me like I am the queen of England?"

"No, because you are my guest now, and I'm going to make you feel like you're at home." He said as he put her 2 bags down and searched his keys.

"Well, spoiling me isn't making me feel at home you know." She said as he sighed and stopped searching for his keys to look at her.

"Kate," he sighed and pulled her into a hug, making sure he didn't hurt, or even touch the cast on her right arm. "I'm just so glad nothing more happened to you."

She hugged him back with her left arm and rested her head on his shoulder. "Yeah, me to."

**So… this was Chapter 7. I hope you liked it.**

**Normally I have the next chapter already done and ready for next week's update but since I had so much homework, I haven't been able to write in a week, just yesterday bcs I got off school and today.**

**Reviews can help make me write faster… *hint hint***


	8. Feelings

**Chapter 8. Feelings.**

**I had some trouble with the songs, but thanks to my lovely friend Dana, everything worked out. I realize when this fic takes place, 1999, the songs didn't exist yet, but I hope you don't mind. **

A half a week flew by. Kate slept a lot, since she didn't have to work, well, wasn't able to work actually… but today her friends were coming over. They had a good time at the karaoke night, now 2 weeks ago, and the boys had the night off seeing as it was Friday. And Lanie to, was free, so they were going to do another karaoke night, but at Ricks place this time, on Singstar. Maybe with a movie or 2.

Alexis was having a sleep over, and Martha would be out with her friends to so Rick and Kate had the place to themselves to get everything ready.

"Kate, you should get some rest, I'll take care of everything."

"No, Rick , I want to help." She smiled, "I've been doing nothing for the past few days, and I just have to do something or I will go crazy!" he laughed at that.

"Okay, but with that cast, there isn't a lot you can do."

"I can always try."

He made diner for later, just simple spaghetti, and she put the snacks in bowls, she did all the stuff she could. "I'm done, I think I'm going to get changed."

"Kate, no one is going to mind how you look. It's okay if you just stay in sweats for the day."

"No, I want to put on my new dress. I bought it for New year's eve when I thought-" but Kate couldn't think about him. It made her so mad. What he did to her, and to Rick, the poor man blamed himself for what another person did to her.

"Kate, you okay?" he asked when he noticed that she tensed up. She nodded "I'm fine. I'm just going to go change…" she said as she walked up the stairs while he watched her carefully. He sighed as he put everything away since he was done cooking and decided he should test the singstar.

So he started it all up and picked a song. The melody started playing and he started to hum along.

_I won't let the night stand in my way__  
__I know what I want, I know what I can__  
__I'm only here to find you, you__  
__All I need is you by my side__  
__All I wanna do is lay down next you._

He lost himself completely in the melody and didn't even notice Kate calling his name. He sang along,

_See I've made mistakes time after time, time, time__  
__But no not today, won't leave till I find what i'm looking for__  
__I'm only here to find you, you__  
__All I need is you by my side__  
__All I wanna do is dance under the moon._

_Cause I all I need is one love__, one love, one heart…_

The chorus started again as Kate walked down the hallway and stopped in her tracks as she heard him singing. His voice had enchanted him before, but wow, she had almost forgotten how beautiful it was. When he was done she startled him with her applause. "Wow Rick. That was amazing!"

"You heard that?" he said a little nervous and staring at her dress.

"Yeah, it was beautiful! And it's not like I haven't heard you sing before."

"Well, it wasn't as beautiful as you are now." He said as she blushed and he walked up the stairs.

"Yeah, could you give me a hand?" They both laughed at that, "Zip me up I mean…"

"Yeah sure he said as she turned around and he gently took her hair and laid it over her right shoulder. He couldn't help but notice how soft her hair was, and leaned in a little closer as he took the zipper and started to zip her up.

"You know, you smell like cherries." He almost whispered in her ear. She turned her hand to find him really close to her, and she couldn't help but let her eyes flick to his lips and back to his eyes.

And of course, that was the moment their friends picked to knock on the door. Rick turned away, "I better get that." And she let out a slow breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"She okay?" Lanie asked when she joined Rick in the kitchen to help him put the food on the table. He sighed and nodded, "I think she's doing fine, but she won't really talk. She sleeps a lot, well… when she's not having any nightmares. And she reads, sometimes watches a movie with me or plays with Alexis but we haven't really talked about it, and I get that. But I'm really worried."

"Yeah, you're not the only one who's worried. But I think you need to know something, something about her mother."

He knew what this was about, "I know what happened, with her mother I mean."

"How do you know?" she asked a little worried, and maybe a bit insulted.

"She told me. After she had a nightmare…"

"Wow, that's soon! She didn't tell us, the guys and I, until she knew us for… 4 months I think."

Rick was a little honored because of that fact, but Kate interrupted by walking in the kitchen.

"Hey guys, we were thinking about doing some karaoke first and then watch a movie or two." They all agreed on that and soon they were all settled on the couches in front of the TV.

Javi started with an old rock song and Lanie went next singing Taylor Swifts new song '22'. She thought the mood fit the song. They were all up for a party and just wanted to forget about everything. And Javi thought out loud, "If we're going to party, 'Die Young' must play at least once!" and everyone agreed as he took out his iPhone and selected the song as the beat started to play. They all had a glass or 2 to drink, so they weren't drunk, yet… but enough to go wild on the beat. They might have been just with 6, but they knew how to party as Lanie and Kate danced together as Kevin and his girlfriend, Jenny, who they already knew but got to know a lot better tonight, danced and Javi and Rick were just dancing somewhere in between as they all sang along with the chorus.

'_I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums__  
__Oh what a shame that you came here with someone__  
__So while you're here in my arms,__  
__Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young__  
__We're gonna die young__  
__We're gonna die young__  
__Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young'_

They all fall down on the couches when the song ended. Another round of drinks and a duet from Kevin and Jenny that sounded so sweet. Than it was Kate's turn. She had no idea what to sing, until her eyes scanned the screen and saw one song she liked. It expressed all her emotions about what had happened to her, not only a few days ago, but also now almost 1 year ago.

Rick studied her as she picked the song and the melody started playing. He listen carefully as he realized what song was playing. Try by P!nk.

'_Ever wonder about what he's doing__  
__How it all turned to lies__  
__Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why__' _

He looked across to see Lanie with a worried gaze directed at Kate. Javi was next to her with his hands on Lanie's shoulder as he met Rick's gaze. He saw the same worry reflected in them as the chorus started and Kate sang along with so much emotion and power in her voice.__

_'Where there is desire__  
__There is gonna be a flame__  
__Where there is a flame__  
__Someone's bound to get burned__  
__But just because it burns__  
__Doesn't mean you're gonna die__  
__You've gotta get up and try try try__  
__Gotta get up and try try try__  
__You gotta get up and try try try'_

Rick studied her carefully as the last chorus started and he could see a tear rolling down her cheek. He stood up as the song ended and pulled her in for a hug. The others soon joining them and each hugged Kate. "You okay Kate?" Rick carefully asked as she settled herself next to him on the couch again.

"Yeah I'm fine Rick. Just needed to get my thoughts out."

"About what happened last week?"

"About everything" she answered and looked at him, suddenly not sad anymore. She felt better, but she knew that wasn't going to last long.

"Who wants to watch a movie?" Rick asked everyone as they all agreed he got up and got them some snacks while the others picked the movie. Lanie came to help him again. "Rick, about before… I had to say something else, but we got interrupted. And the thing is… I don't know if you know this already, but you need to be there for her. Alright?" she questioned as he nodded quickly with a worried look. He had no idea what this was about, well he had an idea…

"In 2 days it's the 9th." Lanie carefully started and saw that Rick didn't know where she was going with this. "Rick, it's the day her mom got murdered exactly one year ago."

Rick carefully nodded as he glanced over to the couch were Kate was sitting, chatting with Javi about what movie to pick.

"Yeah, she told me. I can't believe I didn't think about that. And yes, I'll do whatever she wants me to do. I'll be there for her." Rick spoke as he grabbed the snacks and Lanie the drinks and walked back into the living room.

They had watched 2 movies. It was now 1:30 am and Javi, Lanie, Kevin and Jenny packed up their stuff to go home. Kate was asleep with her head on Rick's shoulder. She had been out since the first movie, but Rick was scared to move her, he didn't want to wake her up.

As he said goodnight to the gang from the couch, Lanie added, "If there's something wrong, or you need advice, or Kate needs anything… Call me, okay?"

"Yes, of course." Rick smiled as he said goodbye once again.

Once the gang was gone he looked back at Kate, sleeping so adorably against him. He carefully got up, hoping not to wake her up, and lifted her with the blanket still wrapped around her, in his arms. He carried her to the spare bedroom she had been sleeping these past few nights and carefully tucked her in. Smiling at the sight of Kate turning onto her side and putting her hands below the pillow, he leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight Kate." And walked out of the room, closing the door as he was greeted by his mother who came home earlier.

"You really like that gal, don't you?" she smiled as he slowly nodded.

"She's not like Meredith. Kate is real. I like that." He smiled and wished her goodnight as he walked downstairs to his own room.

"I can see that." Martha smiled to herself as she re-entered her room and went to bed. Glad that her son had fallen for Kate. Now she only hoped it would last.

**I'm totally not sure about this chapter. I feel like the inspiration drained out of me. That's what I get from 2 weeks without Castle. I hope to get some reviews with ideas, or just comments. Tell me what you think, and sorry for the 1 day delay. I hope I made it up to you all by making this a 2000 words chapter.**


	9. The 9th

**Chapter 9. The 9****th**

**Sry for the AN, but I'm just frustrated because people like those guests don't seem to even try and read the story. Or they just don't get AU, but then they shouldn't read this story. For all the people who gave me compliments, thank you.**

**A special thanks to Nina K. who is my #1 fan apparently. You make me smile!**

**And to all my readers who might have been hurt by hurricane Sandy, I hope you are okay.**

They had a normal, quiet day. Everything had been fine. Alexis had returned from her sleep over and had talked the ears from Kate and Rick's head. After her long talk Alexis went to sleep some more because apparently she hadn't really slept a lot.

Now Kate and Rick were sitting on the couch, watching TV with a glass of wine in their hands. "Kate…" Rick started as he felt the need to finally talk about it, since he'd been putting it off all day, "I need to talk to you about something." She looked up at him. In the back of her mind she could have known what this was going to be about, but she wasn't thinking about that. He was going to do this carefully but he knew she couldn't like even talking about it. "What are your plans for tomorrow? Anything you want to do?" and he could see Kate already growing more sad by the second.

"Nothing." She whispered and cleared her throat, trying to get that lump away.

"Kate? You okay?" he asked, knowing that she would lie about it.

"Yeah, I'm just- I don't know Rick. I don't know if I'm fine. I have no idea what to do tomorrow. I think I'll just have to keep myself busy enough."

"If I can help you in any way-"

"I know." She mumbled and got up. "I think I'm going to sleep. I'm tired."

"Okay," he said as he turned on the radio and turned the TV off. "Oh Kate! I love this song. Will you dance with me before you go to bed?" he asked full of hope but then saw her doubt. "Nothing funny, I just love to dance to this song." He offered her his hand and she accepted.

"Can't hurt me right." She thought out loud as he pulled her closer, her nose at the line of his shoulders, closely dancing to the sweet melody.

After a few seconds her head was resting on his shoulder and she was practically hugging him, so was he. Her hands around his neck, his around her middle, resting on her hips. He started humming along with the song with his lips next to her ear, giving her chills, but good chills.

"You know what I thought what I first met you, before I talked to you and saw you in my bar?" he asked her, still swaying to the melody.

She asked with a hum. "I thought you were a mystery I was never going to get to know."

She chuckled at that. "So I'm really glad we bumped into each other." He smiled.

"Yeah me too." She agreed.

"Tell me, what did you think? Was I the famous author for you? Or just a normal guy that you came across?" Rick was curious.

"I saw you weren't that outgoing as the tabloids describe you, so for me, you were just an interesting guy. But I must say, after our first conversation, I wanted to get to know you. So yeah, I'm glad you're my friend now." He smiled and pulled back a little bit. "You know, you have gorgeous eyes, once I made eye contact, I saw you were more than just a beautiful brunette." She blushed.

"Thanks, I guess." Trying to suppress a smiled as the song ended.

Suddenly back to serious he said, "I'm serious Kate. You are a beautiful woman." And made eye contact with her for longer than normal. They kept that gaze until Kate's smile started to fade when she saw his eyes flick to her lips for just a seconds. He didn't even realize he did it. She backed away from him slightly. "I think I'd better go to bed." She almost whispered as she got out of his grip and walked toward the stairs.

"Kate…" he started, trying to tell her with one name all of his feelings. Apologizing for making her feel uncomfortable, trying to tell her that he didn't mean to push her in any way…

She turned back around and gave him a smile that showed him everything, that he didn't have to worry because she knows he doesn't mean to push her, "Goodnight Rick."

"Goodnight Kate." he said as he was frozen for a few seconds before moving and going to bed. He didn't want tomorrow to come, not for her. He knew tomorrow was going to be tuff.

Rick woke up, glad it wasn't from Kate's screams and got out of bed. Still in his PJ's he made some coffee and watched as his daughter came down the stairs. "Daddy, is Kate okay?" she asked as Rick picked her up and put her on the kitchen barstool. "Why are you asking that, sweetheart?"

"I think I heard her cry." She yawned as Rick practically ran upstairs. Knocking on Kate's door as he waited in silence, trying to hear any sound from her. He didn't want to burst through the door if nothing was wrong. When he heard, what sounded like a sob, he carefully opened the door.

"Kate? Are you okay?" he asked when he didn't see her and turned the lights on. When he didn't see her, he heard a sob again.

"Kate what are you doing on the floor?" he asked as he walked into the bathroom as saw her sitting in sweats and one of his T-shirts she had borrowed to sleep in, sobbing on the floor, leaning against the wall. Rick sat down next to her and pulled her into him. She resisted at first but relaxed when he soothed her.

"I – I" she started but her sobs got the better of her, she swallowed and tried again. "I just miss her so much Rick." He hugged her tighter and mumbled an I know.

After a minute or two, Rick stood up as picked Kate up from the floor. "What are you doing?" she questioned as she put her arms around his neck so she wouldn't fall.

"I'm going to lay you down on the couch, if you want, you can lay there all day, because I'll make you breakfast. I'll do anything for you. Just ask." He smiled as Kate rested her head against his chest as he carefully walked down the stairs. As soon as he laid Kate down, Alexis was by their sides.

"Hey pumpkin. Kate's a little sad today and you know what we do with people that are sad, right?" Rick looked from his daughter who nodded, back to Kate who was giving them a confused look.

"We spoil them!" Alexis cheered as Kate couldn't help but smile at how Alexis was jumping around.

"You just lay back, maybe watch some TV, and let us spoil you." Rick said as he walked into his kitchen and started making pancakes.

After breakfast, Martha was away for an audition for a new play, Alexis was coloring and Kate and Rick were watching TV, although Rick tried to write. "Rick, I know what I want to do today."

Rick looked up at her as she got up, Rick took his laptop of his lap but she stopped him. "And I think it's best if I do it alone." This shocked him quite a bit.

"Are you sure?" She nodded. "I'm sure."

"What are you going to do?" he questioned, wanting to know where she was going.

"I – umh… I'm going to visit my dad. It's been a while since I've been there. We've just been calling each other for the last few months."

"You need a ride?"

"Yeah sure." She agreed, knowing he wanted to at least do something for her.

She got dressed, he did too and he took Alexis with him. She couldn't stay home alone, so he would just go to the park or museum or something.

Rick stopped the car at the address Kate gave him. It was more outside of the city, but still not too far. "Thanks for the ride Rick."

"When should I pick you up? And call if you need anything."

"Yes" she chuckled at how many time he'd said that already. "I will and you can pick me up at 7, if that's okay with you." He nodded as she shut the door of the car and turned to look at the house she grew up in. Rick drove away as she stood on the front porch and ringed the doorbell. She didn't want to use her key, she wanted to surprise him.

She stood there for 2 minutes and still no one had answered. She took out her phone and dialed his number. Almost dropped her phone trying with the purple cast around her arm. Her dad didn't pick up. She tried the house phone, same thing. Now she was starting to worry so she took out her key of her old house and turned the lock.

As she opened the door a smell of alcohol came towards her. "Dad?" she called out as she took of her coat. She froze up when she saw an empty bottle of scotch lying next to the door that leaded to the living room. "Dad?" she called out again as she opened the door to the kitchen. There she really got scared. The room was full of empty bottles of every kind of strong alcohol. Some bottles were broken. "Dad!" she was now screaming as she felt tears sting in her eyes. Was her dad really an alcoholic? It looked like it… She ran into the living room, almost tripped over a few bottles on the way and sat down next to her dad. He was draped over the couch, bottle of booze in his hand.

"Dad! Please wake up!" she said as she shook him awake and felt for a pulse. She felt a sigh of relieve as she felt his pulse beat below her fingers and heard her dad moan.

"Katie?" he asked with a really ruff voice.

"Oh dad…" she sighed as she tried to pull him up but as soon as he was sitting he leaned back over and the smell of vomit came towards her.

She couldn't help but start to clean everything up. She put her dad in his room. Surprisingly that was the only room where there weren't any bottles. The bed was still made… and it was dusty in there. He hadn't been in his bedroom for a while.

After her dad was asleep, she started cleaning. She put all the bottles in the trashcan. With every bottle she threw away, she could see her mom lying in that alley, or imagining her mom being disappointed because Kate let her down. By not taking care of her dad. She couldn't stand the thought and silently cried as she started scrubbing the kitchen floor.

Rick had a fun day with Alexis. First they went to the museum. Rick loved it there and was glad his daughter did to, and wasn't at all like her mom. He didn't know how a Deep Fried Twinkie, like he called her, and himself, a writer who liked to play games like a child, created such a beautiful little girl.

After they went to the park where the snow from a few days ago was still there and had a snowball fight, and went to a Starbucks to drink a hot chocolate and a coffee. When they were done, they went home to clean up their selves. By that time it was already 6 pm and he still hadn't heard anything from Kate. he was kind of starting to worry, but he shouldn't right? She would call if anything was wrong. Would she really?

He decided he would head there now, so he could get there a little earlier. When he got there, he ringed the bell and waited. When nothing happened he tried again and called for her. "Kate? it's me, Rick."

This time he heard footsteps coming towards him. He was kind of shocked when he saw Kate in dirty clothes and red eyes. "Kate, are you okay?" he said as he tried to make eye contact with her, but she kept looking down.

"Yeah I'm fine. Look Rick, I'm just going to stay here for the night. Okay?" the way she asked, he knew something was wrong, but he also knew she was a pretty private person.

"Kate, if something's wrong, just tell me."

"Nothing's wrong Rick, let it go!" she getting kind of mad. "Now can you please go?" it was more an order than a question as she took a step back and closed the door right in his face. He stood there, frozen for a second, taking in what had happened. He tried to door again, nothing and tried to call, voicemail… He sighed and drove back home.

Kate closed the door right in his face. Did she just do that? But her thoughts were interrupted by hearing her father wake up and walking down the stairs.

"Kate what are you doing here?" he questioned as she followed him into the kitchen. "I came to visit you, seeing what day it is." She silently spoke, not knowing if she should get mad at him for drinking, it might turn out in a fight then, and she didn't want to fight with her dad.

"What day is it then?" he questioned as he pulled open the fridge.

"It's the 9th dad." Had he really been drinking so much he couldn't remember the date?

Jim, her dad, tensed up and turned to look at her. "Where is the wine? And the whiskey?" he questioned as he slowly approached her.

"I threw it out." She said trying to read her father's look.

"Why? You can't do that! You don't live here anymore!" he yelled at her as he brought his hand to his head, now really feeling the headache that came from drinking.

"Why?" she asked sarcastically, "Because I found you, blacked out, on the couch with bottles of Booze everywhere!" she yelled back. "I cleaned up this place. There were broken bottles and vomit everywhere!"

"Don't yell!" he snapped at her.

"Why are you drinking dad?" she questioned even though she knew the answer.

"It's none of your business!"

"It is dad! I lost her too! You're not the only one who lost her!" she was mad at him, for being so selfish.

"Don't you think I know that?" he snapped at her again. "I lost my wife!"

"And I my mom!"

It was silent for a moment before he spoke, voice normal again. "You know, it's your fault." She was shocked. She expected a lot, but not this.

"How the hell is this my fault? I wasn't the one who stabbed her! I wasn't the one who left her to die! Alone!" she yelled at her dad as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Don't! Don't talk like that!" he snapped again.

"Like what? Mom's dead daddy! She's dead." She cried out, furious as something inside of her snapped. "If you care about me, or mom you wouldn't be drinking! Ever since mom died, I feel like you went with her!" she yelled before she could think about what she was saying. "I hate you for that, dad!" Next thing she knew she was on the ground, tingling pain in her right cheek as she looked up at her dad. He'd slapped her!

Her mouth was open from shock as she sat on the ground, looking around but tears blocking her eyes. Her dad just stood there, like he had been when Detective Raglan had said Johanna Beckett was murdered exactly one year ago, on their doorstep.

She got up and made her way to the front door. She needed to get out of here. That's when he snapped out of his trance, "Katie wait! I'm sorry!" he reached for her arm but she shook him off and ran out of the house. Trying to clear her head of what just happened, not knowing where she should go, or to who.

**Kind of heavy chapter right? I knew from the start this was going to happen at the 9****th****, and I hope you like how I worked it out. Tell me in a review! ;)**

**Also, I'm sick, again. I just hope I didn't fall back to Glandular Fever bcs that would really suck bcs then, my inspiration is gone, and I, and I guess you to, wouldn't want that to happen!**

**-Lina**


	10. When I Look At You

**Chapter 10. When I Look At You.**

**This chapter goes on with the 9****th****, I thought it was going to go on with the next day also, but it turned out to be too long so it's just the night of the 9****th****.**

**For the people who thought I wouldn't let Kate go to Rick, I mean… come on, how could I not!?**

Rick was sitting in his office, trying to write but failing because his mind constantly wandered to Kate. And how rude she had been, he understood, and he knew there was something wrong, but what he didn't understand was why Kate hadn't called him, or told him what was wrong. Didn't she trust him? Okay, they had only been friends for 11 days, and then there's the day they met, but he didn't count that as them being friends. But he remembers it perfectly, Friday the 23th of December.

He just started writing again, when he heard knocking on his door. He sighed, got up and made his way to the door, not bothering to turn the lights on. Who would come to visit him at this hour? He had already put Alexis to bed because the little redhead was so tired after the day of fun that she fell asleep watching a movie. His mother wasn't home yet, he was used to it though…

He looked through the peephole and as soon as he saw Kate standing there, shifting from foot to foot, arms wrapped around her, he turned all the locks as fast as he could and opened the door.

He didn't even get a word out before she launched herself towards him, hugging him as she sobbed against his chest.

"Kate, what happened?" he said after a while just standing there as he led her towards the couch. She cuddled up against him and he put an arm over her, never taking his eyes off of her.

"I don't want to talk about it." she almost whispered so soft.

"Okay Kate. We'll talk tomorrow." he said and she could hear the worry in his voice. He started tracing patterns on her arm to sooth her.

Kate knew that talking about it tomorrow, might be even harder than talking about it now. She sighed, "When I walked into the house I found bottles of booze everywhere." Rick immediately understood more of what had happened, but still heard her out. She needed to get this off of her shoulders, and he needed to know she was okay. "I found my dad blacked out on the couch." She swallowed, trying to get the lump away, but that didn't work. "I put him to bed and started cleaning." He held her closer as she continued. "I threw everything I found out, and cleaned the house. When I was done, you came. I'm sorry about slamming the door in your face by the way."

He smiled, "It doesn't matter Kate. You don't have to be sorry."

"Yeah I do! I pushed you away while you just tried to help."

"Kate don't worry about it. What happened next? Did you get into a fight?"

"Yeah…" she nodded, "He woke up and was mad that I threw everything away. We fought, said some ugly things and I left."

"I'm glad you came to me." He sighed and suddenly realized something, "Wait, how did you get here?"

She bit her lip at that, not wanting to admit it to him. "I ran."

"You ran?" he asked in shock, "You ran all the way?"

"Yeah, listen Rick it's no big deal." She sighed, really not wanting him to worry.

"It is!" he said as she moved away from him. "Kate, what were you thinking, running all the way?" he also sat up and turned on the big light and turning of the smaller one that had lighted the room with a soft orange color.

"I'm going to bed. Night" Kate said as she stood up and started walking away, stopping when she felt Rick grab her wrist.

"Kate, did he hit you?" he asked, voice full of worry and kind of angry. He stood up right in front of her.

"No" she lied and saw he noticed it.

"Kate, don't lie to me." He said as he brought his hand up to her chin so he could move her face. "Your cheek is bruised Kate." he could see her surprise. She hadn't looked in a mirror since she left her dad's house. She walked over to the closest mirror and was shocked to find her whole right cheek covered in a blue shade. "I didn't know it was this bad." She mumbled.

"Let's put some ice on it and you just relax." Rick said as he walked into the kitchen to grab an ice pack and towel.

They just sat like that, him carefully holding the ice pack against her cheek while she sat opposite of him, legs crossed on the couch.

"I'm sorry I didn't call, I just didn't know what to do. I panicked and closed off. I'm sorry." Kate started but Rick cut her off, "Kate, yeah I wished you called me, or had talked to me when I stood at the door but I'm not mad. I'm just glad you're okay." he admitted. "You know, in these past few days, I've gotten so used to having you around that I don't think I can imagine being here without you. Somehow we've gotten so close, and I like having a friend like you."

"Yeah me too. And I never guessed that Richard Castle, the man that wrote the books I love so much, would be my friend one day. My best friend." She stated as she watched as his smile grew.

He turned on the radio and she smiled as this song was perfect for the conversation they just had. When I Look At You by Miley Cyrus. "Come on, make my day better and dance with me?" she asked him as she stood, holding out her good hand as invitation.

"How can I say no?" he smiled as he took her hand and pulled her closer. They swayed to the melody of the song, his arms around her waist, the arm with her cast in between them because she didn't want the rough material hurting his neck. She hummed along and started singing silently.

"I like it when you sing. You have this amazing voice…" he smiled, not knowing what else to say, just wanting to hear her sing.

"You're not so bad yourself Castle." She laughed as he looked at her in amusement. "What?"

"You called me Castle. You never call me Castle. I like it." She chuckled.

"It's a cop thing. I don't think you should get used to it though, I like Rick. Castle is the bestselling author, Rick is my friend." He nodded at that.

"You can call me whatever you want, Kate. Castle, Rick, Richard, Kitten…" he joked as she leaned back to look at him.

"Now I might just do that, _Kitten_."

He leaned forward, mouth next to her ear as he whispered, "And what about you, _Kitten_?"

Now it was her turn to lean in, she had no idea why because Alexis was upstairs in bed and Martha was still out doing God knows what. "Don't ever, call me _Kitten_, again!" she smiled but was still serious.

The song came to an end and they parted. "Rick, could you do me a favor?" she shyly asked.

"Yeah sure."

"I'm afraid I'll have nightmares again. I don't want them to come back. So could you…" she sighed, realizing how ridiculous it sounded, "never mind…" she sighed as she took a step back and was about to go upstairs to her room when he stopped her.

"Kate, I'll do whatever you want me to. Especially to keep those nightmares away. What do you want me to do? I'll do anything."

She took a deep breath and just spit it out. "Would you sleep next to me?" she looked shyly up at him to see him, not laughing, not frowning but actually with a tiny smile on his face. "Kate, if that's what you want me to do, I'll be happy to do it." He said as she murmured a thanks.

"But, I do have one condition. We need to sleep in my bed. It's much more conferrable." She chuckled. "Sure Rick. I'll just go and get changed." She said as she went upstairs and came back downstairs within five minutes.

She found him in his bedroom, in his pajama's also read to sleep. "No funny business, okay?" she stated more than asked as she got under the covers. He just smiled, "Kate, of course not."

"Okay. She nervously nodded. He had already woke her up from a few nightmares, but it was the first time that she was actually going to fall asleep next to him.

They lay apart, staring at the ceiling in an awkward silence until he sighed and spoke up. "Kate, I'm saying this because I don't want to overstep, but I'm going to give you a hug, and then you can just fall asleep in my arms. I think that will go a lot faster." She chuckled and nodded as they moved closer to the middle of the bed and just cuddled and soon fell asleep in each other's arms.

Kate woke up, frightened from her nightmare. She hadn't woke him up though… so she must not have kicked around like she usually does. She also noticed she was still in his arms. She really didn't want to wake him up so she got out of the bed and tip toed to the kitchen. She just noticed it was just 3 am. At 4 am she would be able to stay up, but 3 am was just too early. So she poured herself a glass of water and enjoyed the cold fluid calming her heated insides as she rubbed a hand over her face, careful not to touch the still sensitive bruise. It hurt less with the ice pack, and the fact that she had slept on her left cheek but it still hurt if she touched it.

She was still shaken up from the nightmare when she heard something at the front door. She panicked. Last time it was Will, causing her to now have a cast on her right arm. She ducked away behind the counter as she heard the door open. She heard the heels of woman's shoes on the floor but before she could stand to see who it was, Martha walked behind the counter to be startled by the hiding Kate.

"Oh Kate darling, you scared me. What are you doing there?" the redhead asked as Kate stood up and straightened her pajama's. "I'm sorry Martha, I just heard the door open and well, I freaked."

"Okay, well that's a start, and what are you doing here, in the kitchen, at 3 am?"

"I woke up from a nightmare just a few moments ago and I didn't want to wake Rick up. So I sneaked out of his room to get a drink."

"Kate? You sneaked out of _his_ room? Is there something I should know, darling?" Martha teased but she was very curious.

"Oh no Martha, nothing like that!" Kate panicked. "We didn't sleep together, well we did sleep together but not in the way that you think- "

"Kate, darling slow down. I will believe you, and I know you didn't. Well, you should go back to sleep. I'm going off to my bed now. Goodnight darling." Martha pulled Kate in for a hug.

"Thank you Martha, and I will." Kate said as she watched Martha fly up the stairs.

Kate walked back into the master bedroom and smiled at the sight of Rick being curled up, hugging his pillow, instead of her. She climbed back in the bed and laid back down.

"You want to talk about it?" Rick asked out of the middle of nowhere and startled her.

"God Rick, I didn't even know you were awake!" Kate said as she rested her hand on her heart. Still startled by Rick.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. So? Want to talk about the nightmare?" Rick questioned as he sat up against the headboard.

"It was just like other times." Kate sighed as she also sat up next to him, "I saw flashes of my mom, happy and healthy, then the next second she's just… laying there." She had to swallow the lump in her throat away.

"Kate, it's okay. You don't have to tell me. I just wanted to know you're okay." Rick smiled as he pulled Kate in for a hug.

"Did I wake you up?" Kate questioned after a moment of silence.

"I think I woke up from mother walking in. Don't worry about me, now let's go back to sleep."

"Yeah." Kate yawned as if on cue and she settled back down in the bed. So did he and soon his arms were around her again, she didn't mind. She liked the feeling. And for a second she wondered what it would be like if she would be able to fall asleep like this every night, but she shook that thought out of her head. She was crazy for thinking that, but she did like the thought. "Rick?" he hummed in question. "Thank you."

"For what?" he questioned.

"Just for being here." She admitted.

"I'm just glad you're here, safe and sound." He smiled as she dozed off into a nice and peaceful slumber.

**So? What do you guys think? And uploading a day earlier. Well 2 days… Happy? ;)**

**It's just a little shorter but I wanted to start next chapter with a new day. I don't know if it will be a filler or not, maybe a day with Alexis? Let me know what you guys want.**

**This video inspired me to write on when I was stuck, so thanks to the maker of this video, you're getting this chapter sooner than expected! It's a really beautiful Caskett video, check it out!**

watch?v=DS5Q4OFBML8


	11. Last Day of Vacation

**Chapter 11. Last day of vacation.**

**So I'm kind of disappointed with the lack of reviews… Only 1? You know that I'm never going to give you the chapter 2 days early again right? I needed the cheer up…**

**It also gives me the feeling that you're not interested anymore… :|**

Kate woke up, smiling at the sight of him still laying besides her. Yeah, she could get used to this. Again, she shook the thought out of her head. He was her friend for God's sake. Not her boyfriend. _Not yet anyway._ No! No. She needed to clear her head. She couldn't even think about having a boyfriend now. Her dad was a drunk, her ex had beaten her so bad she hid herself for Martha last night and then there was the fact that she always felt like her mother was looking down at her and saying 'How could you be happy without me?' and she didn't like that feeling at all.

She felt Rick move below her hand, that was on his chest… why was it there? He woke up and turned towards her. Hair messy from sleeping. _So cute. No! damn._ She caught herself again, but her thoughts got interrupted by his voice. "Hey, Kate. Good morning. Did you sleep alright?"

She nodded and smiled. "No nightmares."

"I'm glad. They don't do you any good." He sighed and she nodded in agreement.

"We should get up… Alexis is probably already done with breakfast and I need to write some more."

"Yeah sure." Kate agreed and got out of bed, followed by Rick.

They walked out of the bedroom, still dressed in pyjama's, and walked over to the kitchen where Alexis was already waiting for her breakfast. "Where's mother? I thought she would've made you breakfast?" Rick asked.

"She had an early rehearsal and overslept. And I didn't want to wake you… two." Alexis said turning around to see Kate walking out of her father's bedroom. "Daddy?" she questioned, confused with what was going on. "Is Kate your new girlfriend?" Rick almost spitted out the juice he just poured himself as Kate stopped in her tracks. She heard the question, and she kind of wanted to know how he would react. "No! No. She still just our friend." Kate's eyes fell to her feet, the way he said no… God it hurt. Rick continued, not noticing Kate's reaction but focusing on his daughter.

"Kate just needed someone to keep the nightmares away." Rick smiled and looked at Kate, who faked a small smile and walked over to the couch while Rick started to prepare the breakfast.

After breakfast, Rick started writing while Kate was busy with Alexis. It was her last day of vacation and although the little redhead loved school, she also loved being home. "So Lex, what do you want to do today?" Kate smiled at the little redhead who was sitting next to her, drawing.

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe watch a movie? Or go out somewhere? I feel like I haven't been out of the house in a while, even though daddy took me to the museum yesterday. I love it there."

"Oh? He did? Well, when I was your age, I loved it there too. My mom used to take me there at least once a month." Kate gave the girl a small smile as she remembered how she used to walk around the museum, hand in hand with her mom. "She would make time for me, and that was hard with her job. She was a lawyer." Kate noticed Alexis was watching her with big eyes, obviously wanting to know more about Kate. "My favorite part of the museum when I was little were the dinosaurs, because they were so big. We used to spend hours just wandering around and when it was time to go home, my mom would have to drag me out. But I knew she would take me again next month."

"How old were you when you first went there?" The six year old asked, loving the information she got from Kate.

"Oh I think I was about your age when we started it, but it stopped when I got into high school. I got less time, and I got kind of bored of it… but now I'd go back to those moment in a heartbeat." Kate admitted, remembering how sad her mom was when she had told her that she didn't want to do it anymore, but rather hang out with her friends. She was in her wild-child faze back then and when she looked back now, she wished she hadn't been so rude to her mom sometimes.

"Why?" Alexis asked, but then suddenly remembering Kate lost her mom. "I'm sorry Kate! I shouldn't have asked." The redhead declared before Kate could answer.

"It's fine Lex." She sighed and gave the girl a small smile. "So, don't you do anything like this with your mom?" Kate asked as she remembered the conversation she and Rick had. She remembered him telling her that she had been a better mother figure than Meredith ever was. And it had shocked her, but she also wanted to know how Alexis thought about her.

"No… She doesn't come here often, and when she does, all she wants to do is go shopping! I hate shopping with her!" Alexis exclaimed in frustration. "And last time, I heard her say she wasn't even here for me." The small girl changed from angry to sad. Kate took the girl into her arms and felt the redhead's arms wrap around her. "But you're here. You can do all the stuff she's supposed to do with me." Alexis smiled up at Kate with hopeful eyes.

"I will honey. I can do all the stuff you want to do." She said as she hugged the girl tight.

At the same moment, Rick walked out of the office. He stopped when he say the interaction between Kate and his daughter. He caught himself wishing that Meredith was more like Kate. But why couldn't she really? Kate was everything he wanted as a mother figure for Alexis. She had a job, was a strong woman and beautiful, inside and out.

Meredith was the opposite of Kate. She was an actress, but not a very successful one though, and she might be pretty, but she never came close to how beautiful Kate was. And the worst thing about Meredith, she could only think of herself. When she came to New York almost over a year ago, she was here for a job! Not for her daughter. And she never really wanted Alexis, maybe she wouldn't have found having a child hard if her daughter had been just like her, a shopaholic. But Alexis looked like her mother, but inside she was all Rick.

He caught himself staring and walked towards Alexis and Kate, who were now sitting next to each other on the couch. "Alright ladies, what are the plans for today? Anything you want to do pumpkin?" he asked and smiled over at Kate who gave his a small, fake smile back. Rick didn't notice though.

"I don't know. Maybe a movie, daddy?" Alexis said as Rick nodded.

"Alright, which one do you want to go see?" Rick questioned.

"I don't know, I don't think there's a good one playing now. Maybe we could just go out to the park and play in the snow like yesterday! And after we could go for a drink." Alexis said as Rick nodded. "That's okay with me pumpkin." Rick smiled as he turned his attention to Kate. "You're coming with us, right?"

Kate wasn't sure. She didn't feel so great after she felt her heart cringe at the conversation she overheard, but she did want to go out. Rick saw that she was doubting and sat next to her.

"It'll be fun, Kate. Go with us." He smiled as he put a hand on her knee.

"Okay." she said before she realized it but she felt like having some fun. She needed it.

They got ready to go outside but Kate had some trouble with her cast. She had so many layers of clothes on that she couldn't bend her arm good enough to get her hat on. Rick was busy with Alexis and once he was done, and saw how much Kate was trying to get the hat on he walked over to help her with it. "Come here." He smiled as he took her hat in his hands and went to stand in front of her. He pulled the hat over Kate's head. "Thanks" she smiled up at him, feeling a little better than before as she got lost in his blue eyes. She caught herself staring and looked away and he took a step back. "Come on Lex. Let's go to the park." Kate smiled as the girl took her hand and they walked out of the loft.

They walked through the snow in the park as Alexis ran in front of them, in a comfortable silence. "Daddy, let's try and make another snowman!" Alexis smiled as Rick nodded and walked over to his daughter as they started making the biggest part. Kate smiled at them but not knowing what to do. So she started making her own little snowman.

She was just starting on the little snowman's head when Rick came up behind her. He took a bit of snow in his hand and sprinkled it over her which made Kate look up and smile. "I'm glad you didn't decide to throw it at me." Kate explained as she stood up.

"Oh but I could still do that." He teased as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"You better not." Kate laughed as she took a hand of snow from the ground. When she got back up he was already running away from her. She threw it anyway and was happy to see the little snowball hit its target. Rick did the same but with a much bigger snowball.

He threw it and right as it hit her she turned and she fell backwards in the snow making Rick run towards her.

"Kate, you okay? did I hurt you?" he questioned as she smiled up at him from in the snow.

"No, I was just surprised that's all. Want to help me up?" Kate questioned as she sat herself up and held out her hand which he took.

But as soon as he took it, he was pulled onto the ground and he fell next to her in the snow.

"That's for getting my butt wet!" Kate laughed as she took in Rick's snow covered facial expressions.

"Okay, 1-0 for the lady. But not for long!" he grinned as he took a big amount of snow with his hand that she couldn't see and threw it at her. She couldn't get up so she just lay back in the snow with her arms covering her face.

Rick leaned over her and laughed. "Now it's 1-1."

She uncrossed her arms and found him lingering over her. Was the universe trying to tell her something? These moments occurred more and more every day. But she had heard him, she was just his friend, and she thought it was better that it stayed that way.

"Eumh, Rick…" she said.

"oh, yeah sorry." Rick said as he backed away and stood up, pulling her up with him this time.

They turned their attention back to Alexis while shrugging the snow of their clothes. She had managed to make all the 3 parts for the snowman and all that had to be done was put them on one another.

Rick took the second one to put it on the first and Kate took the head as they made arms with twigs and since they didn't find anything else, they drew the eyes but still used a twig for the nose.

"Look daddy, the little snowman is me." Alexis explained as she pointed to the little snowman Kate had made. "And the big one is you." She smiled as Rick nodded.

"Beautiful pumpkin." Rick smiled. "So, should we go and warm up at Remy's?" Alexis nodded as she took her father's hand and they started walking. Rick looked back to see Kate staring at the snowmen. "Kate? You coming?" he asked as he heard a yeah and Kate followed Rick and Alexis out of the park and onto the streets.

They sat in a corner booth in the back, Kate heard Rick say that it was his regular one because less people would notice them like that. He had said that he didn't get noticed in the streets, but more in places like Remy's or clubs. It would only be bad when a new book was out. Then the press would just follow him around for a week and then it all died down a little. There wouldn't be much press around other than on the book parties and book tour.

They sat there talking about random things with Kate and Rick having a coffee and Alexis a hot chocolate.

"So Alexis, was this day a nice 'last day of vacation'?" Rick asked looking at his daughter.

"Yeah, but I'm glad school starts again." She admitted to the surprise of Kate. Rick laughed at the surprise covering Kate's face and explained. "Alexis has always loved school, haven't you pumpkin?"

"Yes." Alexis smiled, "I like learning new things. I want to learn Spanish when I grow up. I like learning languages."

"Well, if you ever want to learn French, Lex, you can always ask me." Kate smiled at the beaming girl as she noticed Rick's shocking expression.

"You speak French?" Rick and Alexis both questioned and Kate let out a small laugh. "Yes I do. My mom thought me. It was something we liked to do over the years and we started around the time I was Alexis' age."

"Can you say something in French?" Alexis asked.

"Quoi?"

"That means what, right?" Rick spoke as Kate nodded.

"Can you say: 'hi, my name is Alexis and I'm 6 years old?" Alexis question as Kate nodded again in response.

"Bonjour, mon nom est Alexis et j'ai six ans." Kate spoke with a French 'r' and all.

"Wow. I want to try that!" Alexis exclaimed as she tried to repeat what Kate had said. "Bonjour, mon nom est Alexis… What comes after that?" she questioned as Kate repeated the line and heard Alexis repeat it almost perfectly.

"Good job Alexis." Rick smiled proudly at his little girl. "I think it's time we should go home." He spoke as both Alexis and Kate nodded.

As they arrived at the loft, Martha was back from her early rehearsal. Alexis immediately disappeared with her to her own bathroom to take a bath since she was cold from all the playing in the snow.

Kate and Rick just took a seat at the breakfast bar after talking of their gloves, hats and coats.

"Kate, are you okay? You seemed a bit off sometimes…" Rick questioned finally able to discuss the way Kate had fake smiled today.

"No, everything's fine." Kate dismissed but Rick didn't buy it.

"Kate, I know something's up. Don't lie to me." He said as he took Kate's hand in his. "Come on, tell me. I might be able to help."

"It's just…" she sighed, "What happened yesterday with my dad… it freaked me out. I want to know how he is, but I don't want to go back there." Kate admitted. Rick know that wasn't all, she was holding something back, but Kate was a difficult woman to read so he could just be wrong… he let it drop and focused on what she said.

"It's understandable Kate. He hurt you, it's normal to be freaked out." Rick gave her a sad smile. He couldn't imagine what Kate must be going through. Her mom had been murdered a year ago and her dad was now an alcoholic, not to forget, her ex who had beaten her. Her life had changed so much in the past year, and she was so lost and broken.

He pulled her in for a hug when he saw her eyes tear up. "Hey, Kate… don't cry. You'll always have me. I'll always be here."

"I don't know where I would be now if I didn't have you as my friend." Kate silently spoke. "Thank you for being my friend."

"Always Kate. Always."

Kate had just taken a long bath to warm up from the cold weather outside. She put on her sweats and she realized she didn't have any t-shirts left. The ones she didn't wear today were in the washer so she pulled out a deep red t-shirt from Rick's closet. She was sure he wouldn't mind. And he didn't. When she walked out of the master bedroom, she saw Rick sitting in front of the TV with his laptop on his lap.

When he heard footsteps he turned towards her. She looked stunning even though she was just wearing some sweats and an oversized shirt. "How do you say: 'You are beautiful' in French?" Rick grinned as Kate chuckled.

"Vous êtes jolie. That's when you're being polite, and when it's your friend you can just use Tu. So Tu es jolie." She smiled, and blushed. She was glad he wouldn't be able to see because of the dim light.

"Well then, Tu es très jolie." Rick smiled she was sat down next to him on the couch while she dried her hair with a towel.

"Tu est vraiment un charmeur." Kate smiled as confusion covered his face. He tried to figure out what it meant.

"Did you just say I'm charming?" Rick had a big grin on his face.

"Yes," she laughed, "I said you really are a charming man." And she blushed a little.

"Why thank you Kate." he smiled.

"What are you writing?" She asked as she tried to look at the screen but pulled it away from her eyesight. "Hey… can't I know?"

"No, you can't. it's a surprise. You'll just have to wait like every other fan to read it."

"And what makes you think I'm a fan?" She questioned.

"Oh, I know you're more than a fan, you're a huge fan because you let me sign 'in hail of bullets' and that's my first one, so you've been reading my books since the very first and seeing how worn out it was… you've read it quite some times." He explained "You know I can just get you a new one if you'd like."

"No." she instantly said, "it's not that I don't appreciate the offer, but that book… it means a lot to me."

"Okay, no worries." He smiled.

"Hey, I was thinking of going back to my apartment tomorrow." She admitted and his smile fell, but she didn't notice because she avoided his gaze. "I've run out of clothes and it's not like I need more help. I think I can manage on my own."

"Oh, okay." he said like it was so casual that someone moved in or out of his house every day. She tried to get another response, but she didn't get one from him.

"Well I'll go pack my stuff." She said a bit harsh and in confusion, she would expect him to care more about the situation. She stood up and ran up the stairs to the guestroom. "Kate?" she heard him yell before she shut the door. What made her switch moods like this? She wasn't normally like this…

She took her bags from the closet and started packing as she heard footsteps up the stairs. She went to the bathroom as she heard knocks on the door. "Kate? Did I do something wrong?"

She sighed as she walked out of the bathroom and dropped the bag. She opened the bedroom door and looked at him.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't know what was wrong with me. It's- I…"

"Hey, I know… you've been through a lot. I don't blame you." He said as he pulled her in for a hug.

"And it's not you. It's just the entire situation. I guess you just reminded me of the moment I told Will that I wasn't going to come with him to Boston and he just shrugged like he didn't care."

"Well, I do care about you" He said as he pulled slightly away from her. "A lot." he smiled as he pushed a lock of her damp hair behind her ear and she looked up at him into his beautiful ocean blue eyes.

He leaned closer and was surprised to see that she didn't pull away. He placed a soft kiss onto her cheek. "I care." He said once again as the hand slipped from her cheek, to the back of her head as her eyes flicked to his lips and back up to his eyes. Next thing she knew he felt the warmth of his lips on hers. She felt this warm feeling inside of her run through her veins. She never felt like this before.

When their lips parted she felt his lips linger a second longer.

She opened her eyes to look in his and smiled as she brought her hands up to his neck and brought her lips onto his again. This time their kiss was more than soft, it was full of affection and… love. Her lips parted as his tongue brushed over her lower lip. He heard her moan and he felt like he was going to melt. They pulled away from each other and tried to catch their breaths. "Wow." She heard him mumble.

"Yeah." She smiled at him as he saw a sparkle in her eye like he'd never seen before.

"You have the most beautiful eyes." He laughed.

"I could drown in yours." She smiled as her breathing became regular again and pressed one more soft kiss to his lips.

"Want me to keep the nightmares away again?" he asked as she nodded. "Come on then." He smiled as he picked her up and she laughed. He carried her all the way to the master bedroom and laid her down. They cuddled up next to each other. "Go on, go to sleep. I'll be here when you need me." He said as he brushed his hand through her hair.

**-x-x-x-**

**So I basically wrote this entire chapter in this weekend and I think it's the longest chapter yet, over 3500 words. I really wanted to update but I just had no inspiration and homework and upcoming exams are being a b*tch. I don't think I'll be able to upload before my exams start on Friday…**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter. And please let me know you're still interested because otherwise I'll just drop the story.**


	12. What's on Their Mind

**Chapter 12. What's on their minds.**

**A special thanks to Bruno and Nina. Nina, thanks for always being there and being an amazing friend.**

**And to all my dear readers: Please don't hate me… I know you're going to, but please try not to. I'll make it up to you. Eventually.**

**-x-x-x-**

Kate woke up in her bed, alone. She turned herself over but found the other side of the bed cold, like no one ever slept there. She tried to remember what happened the day before. Oh god, she had kissed Rick! Wait… hadn't he cuddled with her? Did she actually really kiss Rick? Or… had it all been a dream?

She sat up as she saw her bag fully packed besides her bed. Hadn't she been interrupted by Rick while she was packing? It was just then that she remembered. She was packing, and she froze when she heard him knock on the door. She heard him say: "_Kate? Did I do something wrong?"_

She just stared out in front of her as she wondered what to do. That was when she imagined kissing him… so it hadn't been real?

She had snapped out of her dream when she had heard him say something again. _"Whatever I did wrong Kate, I'm sorry. I- I guess I'll see you in the morning."_

Then she had just finished packing, and went to bed, alone. How could she have even thought for a second that he would kiss her that easily… he didn't like her in that way… how could he? He went for blond, models… or actresses, not for her.

She shook all the thoughts out of her head and got out of bed. She put on the clothes that Rick had given her and took a deep breath. She could do this. She could imagine that dream never happened. Maybe she'd forget the dream, like you did with most dreams.

She stepped out of her bedroom to be greeted by Alexis who came out of hers. The little redhead was all ready for school, with her backpack and everything ready.

"Good morning Kate."

"Good morning Lex" Kate smiled as she let the redhead walk in front of her towards the kitchen where she knew Rick would be making breakfast.

She took another deep breath and walked into the kitchen. Rick stood there, baking eggs and bacon. "Smells good Rick." Kate said, trying not to sound nervous about her dream.

"Come, sit, eat." He smiled back at Kate as she sat herself down on a stool by the kitchen island, next to Alexis who was already eating breakfast.

During breakfast, nothing special happened, Alexis and Rick talked about school and what they might do in the weekend, and Kate was rather quiet, lost in her thoughts. She talked when needed but she didn't do much other than that. She also didn't eat much, she was hungry, yes, but she didn't feel like eating. And besides, it wasn't like she wasn't used to skipping breakfast with her job.

After they finished eating, Kate took her bag from the guestroom with all of her things inside and went downstairs where Rick and Alexis were waiting for her. They would be dropping Alexis off at school first, then they would go to her apartment and it then it all depended on her. Whether or not she wanted to be there, _alone_.

They arrived at her place and Rick found a parking spot. He glanced over at Kate, who just sat there, staring at the windows of her apartment. She took a few deep breaths and got out of the car. Rick followed her. She stood there staring up the building wall when Ricks voice cut through the sound of the cars driving behind them. "Kate? What's wrong?" She shrugged and mumbled "nothing."

Rick sighed and before she could enter the building he took her good arm and stopped her.

"Kate, I know you. So please tell me what's up?" Rick insisted.

Kate had double feelings about what he just said. On one side, she knew that he knew her well enough by now. But on the other side, it hadn't been that long so she felt like he didn't knew her at all. She shrugged and just decided to lay it all out in the open. Something against her own nature, but she didn't feel weird because it was Rick she was talking too.

"It's just everything that happened here… I don't really want to go up, but I have too. It's my house, but it doesn't feel like a home sometimes. I felt more at home these past few days in your loft than I've felt in my own apartment for a while. And I think it's weird. That I'm staying with you I mean. I know I needed someone to help me out, but I just… even though it felt like home, I don't want to intrude. So I think I'll just leave you now, and I'll call you. Okay?" As soon as she said it she almost ran for the elevator.

Rick stood still, but he didn't wait long for his brain to catch up and ran after her. "Kate! Wait!" he caught up with her and slipped inside the elevator before the doors closed.

Kate avoided his gaze and he had to take her face gently in his hands in order for him to get her full attention.

"First of all, I'm here, you're not alone in this, okay?" Kate slightly nodded and Rick continued. "Second of all, you're always welcome in the loft. And you'll never be an intruder." Rick paused and Kate looked at his as he gently put a lock of hair behind her ear.

"And third?" Kate questioned as she met his eyes again.

"I didn't really think of a third, but now I have one. I'm sorry that I upset you yesterday. I didn't know why I just shrugged it off, because obviously you mean a lot to me. You're more than just a person I can talk to Kate. You're like my best friend ever. You…" Rick sighed and his gaze flicked from her eyes very briefly to her lips. Kate noticed and stiffened a little bit but relaxed in the same second. _Did he really just say that? Did he really look at my lips?_ She looked into his eyes again, and saw his eyes darken just a shade.

"You are more than just my best friend Kate." Rick whispered as he slowly leaned in closer and stopped when their nosed almost touched. "I really like you Kate." he said as he closed his eyes for a moment. "More than I've ever liked anyone before." He leaned in even closer.

She could swear she could feel their lips almost touching as the ding of the elevator brought her mind back to reality. Although she really wanted to kiss him, his words had scared her. She couldn't do this! She couldn't be the one to make _the Richard Castle_ happy. She didn't deserve this.

She stepped backwards out of his hands and ran past him, she was thankful that she had her key already in her hand and she opened the door in a quick move and walked inside, throwing the bag on the ground and letting her back close the door. She closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair.

_What did I do? What was I thinking…_

In the elevator Rick could feel his heart break with the ding of the elevator. He felt her slip away from him, and he had let her. Although he really wanted to kiss her, he didn't want to push her in any way. He let his hand fall next to him and turned his back up against the elevator wall. He let his head fall back and closed his eyes.

_What did I do?_

**I'm not completely happy with this chapter. I was really down during writing this. I hope it was still kind of good… I know if was shorter but please don't mind. I really wanted to update.**

**Special thanks to NinaK.05 again, my best friend. Thanks for helping me out. You know I'll always do the same.**

**In what way what so ever.**


	13. The one you love

**Chapter 13. The one you love.**

**I don't think I'll be able to do weekly updates, I'll try to update this story one week, and Wanting You, my other still running story, the other week. Why? Because my teachers just seem to love giving us loads (!) of homework.**

**And otherwise because I seem to have lost inspiration. And I'm just so tired at the end of the week I don't get to write… Sorry.**

A week had passed since they saw each other. Kate thought he must have moved on already. _Who wants a mess like me? Nobody…_ she figured he had already moved on onto the next girl… or he would, soon enough.

But her heart knew better, she knew the Richard Castle wasn't the Rick she met. Richard Castle was the playboy, Rick was nothing like that… And Kate knew it, only, she was so stubborn she didn't want to see it. She didn't want to see he felt the same way about her. They were more than just friends.

But on the other side, she thought, if he had moved on, why shouldn't she?

She went out the door with that thought and took a cab to the hospital. It was time to get her cast removed. Finally.

Alexis came down the stairs that Sunday asking why Kate wasn't staying with them anymore. She was confused… She knew Kate still have the cast on her arm and that she couldn't do everything with it so that she would be needing help, but she also knew her dad hadn't seen her since Monday. And she was smart enough to know her dad had done something. He'd always done something wrong.

"She can take care of herself now. She's a grown woman, I'm sure she just wanted some time by herself after spending days with us." Rick reassured. Not only talking to his daughter.

"So, we'll get to see her again soon?" Alexis asked hopefully.

"I think so yes, but I can't promise anything pumpkin. It's up to her."

It took Rick to Sunday evening to gather up the courage to call Kate. When she didn't answer, he had to admit he was worried. _What if she's in trouble? What if Will came back? What if…_

He grabbed him coat and informed Alexis and Martha that he was going to see her.

"Can't I come with?" Alexis asked.

"No, I'm sorry pumpkin, but I think it's best if you go to bed. It's already late." Rick kissed the top of her head and walked out the door. He just hoped Kate was okay.

2 hours earlier.

Kate sat on the table as Dr. Davidson, or Josh, removed her cast.

"There! All done." He smiled, "I bet you're happy about that." He laughed as he saw her relieved face.

"Yes! Very!" Kate smiled back.

"So, did you manage with the cast? Or was there someone to help you out?" Josh asked, and Kate knew he was asking if she had a boyfriend and found it quite flattering that he was interested in knowing such things.

"Yeah, I had someone." Kate started and say a little sparkle in the young doctors eyes disappear. "I stayed with a friend for the time being. But I went back home on Monday. Since then, I've managed on my own just fine." Kate smiled remembering how some things had frustrated her so much she had just given up on them and hadn't tried them again since. But she wasn't going to admit that to Josh.

And as Josh took in her words, she saw the sparkle reappear. He got the message. No boyfriend.

He asked some more questions before finally asking what he wanted. "Hey Kate, do- do you want to get a coffee sometime?" Josh asked, not meeting her eyes, and hoping for the answer to be yes.

"Sure." Kate said. She was still hurt by Castle. Or what she thought he was trying to do, moving on. But hell, if he was, she should too. And here it was, the chance to forget some author who can get any girl he wants, and be with a doctor who is down to earth and likes her for more than a friend.

"I'm free now, so when do you get off your shift?" Kate asked, wanting to forget about Castle ASAP.

Josh checked his watch.

"Well, I get off in like 15 minutes. So one more patient and I can be all yours." Josh smiled, glad to get off and doing the date now, without any putting it off.

"Great. I'll just wait for you then?" Kate said as she put on her coat.

"Thanks." Josh said as he let Kate out of the room, and asked for his next patient.

"Hey Kate! Thanks for waiting." Josh announced as he came into the waiting room, his normal clothes back on.

"Not a problem…" Kate mumbled as she saw how tight Josh's shirt was. Although he was just wearing a jeans and a black T-shirt with a black leather vest on his arm, he looked pretty damn fine.

"So, anywhere you would like to go?" Josh asked as he gave her a small smile.

"No… Well, there's this movie…"

"Great. Whichever it is, I would love to watch it with you." Josh said before Kate could explain which movie it was.

"Let me just go get something for a second. If you want me to drive you, which is no problem, I'll need an extra helmet." Josh said as he walked towards the nurse behind the information counter.

Before Josh turned back around with a motor helmet in his hands, Kate realized what he had said. And she didn't mind it one bit.

"Here, mine's with the bike. You can borrow this one." Josh smiled as he handed Kate the motorcycle helmet.

"You drive a motorcycle?" Kate asked as she wanted to get her date more, and found it interesting. He did look like the type though…

"Yeah. If you mind, we could always take a cab-"

"Oh no, it's not that." Kate interrupted before Josh could get the wrong idea. "It's just, I used to ride a 'Softail Harley'. But it's in my dad's garage."

"Oh really? I, to be honest, didn't see you as the type. But I'm glad you like motors." Josh chuckled.

"So, what kind do you have?" Kate wondered out loud.

"A 883 Roadster."

"Oh wow!" Kate almost whispered as they walked out the door and she saw the bike parked near the entrance. She thought it was weird she hadn't noticed it before. Normally she would have.

"Come on, hope on. Otherwise, we'll be late for the 8 a 'clock movie."

Kate climbed on the bike, behind him and he got ready to drive off. "All good?" he asked as she smiled a yes. He started the bike and she put her arms around him.

She could feel his muscles beneath her fingers.

"Hold on tight." Josh said, and Kate did. She had missed the feeling of riding a bike so bad and now here she was, on a date with a cute, hot doctor.

She closed her eyes, and enjoyed the feeling of the wind, his muscles below her fingers and the motor driving through the streets.

And the best part was that she enjoyed it. She enjoyed hugging Josh. Much more than she thought she would.

The motor stopped as Josh parked it in front of the movie theatre. Josh took off his helmet and smiled.

"So, you liked feeling the wind in your hair again?" he asked as she took off her helmet as well and nodded.

"It was amazing. But now, the movie." She said as they walked towards the entrance together.

"Oh, by the way, because I was too late to buy you dinner, I _will_ buy you popcorn." Kate laughed as he smiled. "Sure." Kate smiled as they bought their tickets.

"I love your laugh." He smiled as they bought popcorn and both of them a drink. Josh paid for all of it. It was after all, as he said when she insisted to pay something, a date.

"Thanks." She smiled and blushed a little. This was so unlike her. But she had to admit, Josh made her smile.

They walked into the theatre and took a seat. There were only like 20 people in the room so they picked a row where no one else was sitting. It was at the end of the theatre.

"I like to sit in the back. Then you don't have to look up one bit. And I need the neck, you know, being a doc and all." Josh joked quietly. Kate chuckled and nodded.

This was going to be fun.

After the movie and popcorn, they walked out of the theatre laughing at some jokes from the movie. It was a funny, but still kind of scary movie.

"Well, it was funny, with a plot twist. Let's keep it at that." Kate smiled as Josh nodded.

"I liked it. The movie and date. Now let me drive you home." He smiled as he put on the extra helmet on her.

"Or…" Josh started as Kate turned back towards him instead of getting on the bike.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to drive?" Josh smiled.

"Oh… Really? God- I would to but- I mean- it's your bike, and I'm kind of tired… So maybe next time." Kate said as she watched Josh smile.

"So, _next time_ huh?" he stated more than asked.

"Yeah. I had a great time, but first, let's get home." Kate said as she climber on the bike and put her arms back around him.

Rick was still waiting. He had been here for an hour now. She wasn't home, but she couldn't be far away from getting home now… it was almost midnight. Although he wanted to stay, he still wanted to get home before 1 am so he took the elevator back downstairs.

As he stepped outside of her building he could see Kate standing on the other side of the street. The only reason he recognized her is because she was standing in the light of a lamp above her. He on the other side of the road, was in complete darkness.

But Kate wasn't the only thing he noticed. There was Dr. Davidson… He caught himself watching them, but he just couldn't watch the scene as he helped her with her helmet that was stuck. Next thing he knew she hugged him, thanking him probably, with a kiss on the cheek.

Then… his heart broke. Josh's hand was on her cheek, gliding towards the back of her neck, pulling her in for a long, slow kiss.

As Josh and Kate kissed, her back now turned against the bike, he made his way onto the pavement. He couldn't watch this… He couldn't watch the one he loves kissing someone else.

**You guys hate me don't ya? Well, tbh? I loved writing this chapter. Trust me: I hate Josh. But I thought he was just a perfect distraction for Kate.**

**Tell me what you think about the hookup!**


	14. Screw Up

**Chapter 14.**

**Although I expected the reviews to be against me, I don't get how only 2 or 3 people seem to get that this makes a good story. The reason for late updates: I was bored with this story. Now I have something to write about. Also: It was late when I wrote the last chap, so I didn't make the right decision by writing: Made out. It should have been just kissed. That's why I changed it.**

**Last but not least: I haven't written Kate's POV of the end of the date yet!**

Kate hopped off the bike. "I really enjoyed it tonight." Josh said taking his helmet off. He too stepped off the motorcycle. He was thinking about walking her upstairs, but it seemed like she had other plans.

Kate noticed someone across the street. And from his figure, that was well hid but her eyes still spotted him, she guessed it was Rick. Why was he even here? Wasn't he supposed to be with his _new_ girlfriend? Well… she made that up, but still. She knew he would just move on. But… if it was really him, why not make him see that she could move on too? This was the perfect opportunity. If she could make him feel jealous… he would confront her. Right?

She decided it was worth the risk. "Thank you so much for tonight, I needed it." She stepped into his arms and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. She felt him step backwards and when her back hit the bike, she knew what he wanted.

She didn't really want to kiss Josh, but if it made Rick jealous… why not? Josh's hand slipped behind her neck and he pulled her in for a long slow kiss.

As soon as her lips touched his, she knew this was a mistake. Josh was not right for her, and she shouldn't have to pretend to. She backed away but as soon as their lips lost contact, he pushed her harder into the bike and kissed her again.

She wanted this to stop. She didn't want Josh, she wanted Rick. But it took her a kiss from the wrong guy to even make her realize it.

"Josh, stop." she said as soon as she could. He wouldn't stop though. She put her hands against his chest and gave him a nudge. "Josh, please stop!" She was getting scared. Memories of how Will had kicked her, and abused her flooded into her mind. Was Josh like this too?

She looked across the street again, but the figure she thought was Rick was gone. She could call for help… Luckily for her, Josh sensed something and stopped.

"I'm sorry Kate. I got carried away. I should have stopped when you asked." Josh said taking a step back. Kate immediately stepped away from the bike and Josh. "And I'm sorry for scaring you."

"It's okay Josh, I know you didn't mean to." Kate said as she handed her helmet back to him. He took it from her and nodded in understanding and agreement.

"Goodnight Josh…" Kate said, stepping onto the road to cross the street.

"G'night Kate…" he silently said after her. He was stunned by how beautiful she looked. From the second he saw her sitting in the waiting room for her cast, she was all he could think about. And now, he actually had a chance of being her boyfriend. In his eyes, they weren't a couple until they talked about it.

As he saw her disappear into the shadows he put his helmet back on and started his engine. A few seconds later, after trying to find her in the darkness, but failing, he drove away.

Kate stepped inside of her apartment and locked the door. She turned and let herself go through her routine for getting ready for bed. What had she done? She would kiss Josh, a guy she just liked, but she wouldn't kiss Rick? The guy who had been there for her every single time she needed someone. She was getting herself in a sticky situation. Because if it was Rick, and he saw them kiss… either he was jealous, or he didn't give a damn. Or made it look like he didn't. She knew he was more than the guy on Page six. Well, now she knew. Rick would never get jealous. He would let the one he cares about be happy. Even if that's with another man.

"Oh god… What have I gotten myself into?" she whispered to herself and she turned in her bed, facing the other pillow and whishing Rick could be here, holding her, kissing her even.

She had messed up. And she would have to fix it. But she knew it wasn't going to be easy.

Rick closed the door to his loft. He went straight to bed. He had stripped off his clothes along the way. He would clean up in the morning. He just wasn't feeling like it right now. Of course not! The woman he loved kissed another man. Right in front of him, and although he was in the shades, he knew he would have spotted him. It was the Detective in her. But then… why the hell did she do it? Was it just him that felt that spark over the last couple of days? It couldn't have been…

He didn't really care anymore. He was blinded by anger and sadness. If she wanted to be with another man, then so be it. He didn't need her! He was perfectly happy before her, he could be afterwards too.

With that thought in mind, he closed his eyes and turned around in his bed. Trying to get comfortable to sleep.

Sadly enough his mind had other plans for him than what he wanted.

_He walked out of the shadows when he heard her call out for him. Will was hurting her. He ran towards her, but then she disappeared again, further away. It was like every time he got close, she disappeared again, and reappeared somewhere else._

_He couldn't help her, and it pained him. But then all of the sudden, the scenario changed. He saw her, kissing Josh, while looking him straight in the eye. Just as if she was daring him to do something. Daring him to come closer, to kiss her, to pull her away. But he doesn't._

_He doesn't because he thinks she's over him, because he thinks she's happy. Because he believes that if she wanted him, she would have kissed him instead of a doctor who she only met like what? Two times._

_He turned in the dream world, and started to walk away, only to be blocked by a vision of Kate. This time, she was alone. "I'm sorry Rick." Dream Kate reached out for him and he took a step backwards. He didn't want to, but his dream self did it anyways. His mind was protecting his heart. His heart told him that she was sorry, his mind told him she was just like Meredith._

Rick shot awake and immediately reached for his head. Trying to get this dream cleared up. He thought about it. It was like it was real.

And the more he thought about his dream, the more it got through to him. His mind _was_ protecting his heart. And maybe it was for the better.

She had hurt him, he hadn't felt this attracted to anyone, not even Meredith, ever before; and this was how he would have to protect himself from getting hurt. He knew love wasn't a switch. He couldn't just turn it off, so he would have to just forget about her. Not even be friends with her anymore. It would be better for Alexis too. If he could spare her getting hurt once more, then that was his goal.

He went back to bed after getting himself a glass of water from the kitchen, and fell asleep. This time, peacefully.

She also didn't sleep well. Or… not at all. She managed to doze of a few times, but then she started thinking again and her mind was always racing, and just wouldn't give her a break.

She knew she had made a huge mistake. And it haunted her. It was 5:30 am, and she decided to give up trying to sleep. She stepped out of the bed, put on a pair of sweats and a shirt she just picked out of her closet, put her hair in a ponytail, stepped into her running shoes, and went out the door. She needed to clear her mind. And running had always helped her.

She ran to Central Park and ran around the pond two times before she was out of breath and went back home. The minute she stopped running, her mind was racing again, so she gave all she had into the run home. She never slowed down. She couldn't, it hurt. It hurt to think about how much she had screwed up.

She stepped in the shower and let the water run through her hair and over her body. She cleaned her entire body, twice. She just had to get the feeling of Josh's hands and kisses, off of her. She was mad at herself, because her screwed up mind didn't think of Rick not being Page 6 Richard Castle before she went and kissed Josh.

She was frustrated with herself, and she just needed to make it up to him. Right now.

She dried herself off, put on nice but casual clothes and grabbed her phone and dialed his number. She waited and waited, but got nothing. It was still 7 am though, but she just had to talk to him. She knew it wouldn't be good going there. Alexis was there, and she couldn't hurt the little redhead.

She would just keep calling, she had to talk to him somehow. She decided to keep herself busy until the decent hour to call him came along. Then she would call him. In the mean time, she ate breakfast. All by herself…

Rick and Alexis sat at the table, enjoying their 7 am breakfast. They both ready for their day.

"Daddy?" Alexis asked, snapping Rick out of his thoughts, "When can we see Kate again?"

"I don't know pumpkin, I went to see her last night, but she wasn't home. Maybe she's celebrating getting her cast off with a vacation away from the city… I don't know." He saw Alexis' shoulders slump. It broke his heart, but he really didn't feel like seeing Kate. Not today, and not any time soon, but he knew his daughter had bonded with the brunette, and that she would want to see her.

"And I have to write all day, and you," he checked his watch, "need to get to school. Come on pumpkin."

After he dropped Alexis off at school, he checked his voicemail, like he usually does, and saw there was a new message. He just let it play, the first was from Gina, his publisher, again; telling him that his book was due. He ignored it and went on but froze when he heard the second.

"_Rick, hi… It's me, Kate."_ like he wouldn't recognize that voice. "_I, um, need to talk to you, and I really want to do it face-to-face. I hope I can come over during the day since I still have off from work. Um, yeah… So I'll drop by, hope you'll hear this before I do._

_I guess that was all I wanted to say…"_ it played for a few seconds longer and at the end, he heard a really soft 'bye' and then the click of the machine went.

Great… just great. He wanted to avoid her, and she was going to make it harder on him.

**I am really sorry for the lack of updates. My friend needed me, and she comes before everything else. And I didn't get a lot of time to write with the piles of homework.**

**I was going to make this chapter deal with the seeing each other again, but I just… don't feel like writing. A lot has happened, and I really wanted to update.**

**So here it is. Reviews anyone? Maybe they'll cheer me up… who knows.**


	15. Make Up

**Chapter 15. Make up**

**I know, I know, I'm terrible at updates… sorry.**

**Thank you for all the people that understood the Authors Note. I've been having a lot of trouble with this chapter. I know what I want to do, I just didn't know how to write it down.**

**RATING! T. Idk some people might consider it a slight M rating. But I am 14 and I think it's T.**

**To… well, you know if this is to you when you read it… If it wasn't for this story, we wouldn't be best friends. Always**

Kate stood there, in front of his door and she just didn't know if she could do this. She didn't even know if it had been Rick. If it had been, she felt stupid, and she acted like a fool who was messing with feelings. Her feelings and his. That's something she knew was wrong, but of course, she didn't figure that out until afterwards. If it hadn't been him, she still wanted to make up for what happened, or didn't happen, in the elevator. She lo- liked Rick a lot and she did not want to mess this up. Certainly not like this.

She knew it was all on her. And she wanted to apologize the best she could.

She knocked on the door. It was so soft that she was certain he didn't hear. So she knocked again after taking a deep breath, wanting to be ready. To fix this. Them. Whatever 'them' was.

When no one opened the door after a third knock, she called out. "Rick? It's Kate…"

She knew he would know, seeing she called, but what else were you supposed to say when someone didn't want to open the door?

She heard footsteps approach the door. "Kate, go home, I have to write." Ricks voice sounded and gave her the feeling that she had been right. It had been him, the shadow. Otherwise he would've opened the door, let her in. They were friends after all.

"Rick… could you just, please let me explain?" Kate wasn't begging but she needed him to hear her out. She heard locks turn and a moment later, the door cracked open. Not far enough to let her in. He blocked her path.

"Listen Kate, could you make this fast, I really need to write and frankly you're a distraction." Rick said in such tone of voice that it she felt it pull on her heart. Everything was a distraction from writing, but the way he said it, he really meant something more.

"Can I come in first?" She asked softly. And since he wanted to make this fast, and tell her what he thought about all of this without his neighbors peeking, he figured it was best.

When she was inside, he closed the door while she turned on her heel and looked at him.

"I'm sorry." She started and he scoffed. "Rick just please let me explain before you –" She didn't get to finish her sentence as he interrupted her.

"Explain? What huh?"

"I wasn't ready. And I'm sorry." She said that for the almost kiss in the elevator. She wanted to know a 100% sure that it was him, otherwise she would just make it worse.

"You- You weren't ready?" Rick was a little confused, but his anger was greater. "You weren't ready for a kiss from _me_, the one who cares about you, but a week later you're making out with a guy you have seen what? Two times? You could have just _told_ me you don't like me the same way. You didn't have to go kiss another guy and cause all of this. If you would have told me, I would have understood, but that? I don't understand. _What_ was that exactly? You explain that to me, because I can't understand how you could do that to someone. To me." Kate had tried to interrupt him several times, but he wouldn't have it. She knew what she had done. And hearing him say it just made her feel worse because she was never the person that liked her mistakes to be pointed out.

Kate stood there for a moment, teary eyes. "I… What you said to me in the elevator… It scared me. I've been used to being alone for the past year. To have no one to care for me. Will was there, yes, but all he wanted was kisses and sex in the end. I was used to standing on my own and not having a family anymore. And then you come into my life and I get a best friend out of it. And friends who treat me like family. It's been a while since I had that. And it scared me. And you're my best friend Rick, and I don't want to lose that."

Kate was a little frustrated with herself and sighed. "I don't want to lose you."

Rick understood all of that, he could have dealt with that. But… "What does Josh have to do with any of that?" he asked in a calmer tone, but still angry.

"I… I don't know to be honest. When he asked me out, I thought it might be nice, after a week, to give every thought of you some rest, clear my mind, just for 3 or 4 hours. I didn't want it to go any further. But… It took a kiss from a guy, the _wrong_ guy, to figure that out. And I am so sorry for that. I'm messed up, and I hate it. My feelings are all over the place, but nowhere near where they should be and it messes me up. And it causes this. And I am truly, deeply sorry for that."

Rick understood now. He had to admit he was still a little angry, but now he knew.

"Hey… I understand. I do" he confirmed it because he saw the look on her face. "Now I know why, and I see the reason in it. And you might be a mess, but it's normal. You've been through hell and now we'll fix that mess." He spoke as he took a step closer and reached for her hand. "Together."

"Rick… I- I don't deserve this. I deserve for you to be mad at me."

"I was mad Kate, but I don't like being mad at you. And don't think you don't deserve something. I would give you the world if I could. Because you are worth it. You've been through so much and now you deserve to be happy."

He stroked her hand with his thumb. She looked down at them and couldn't help but fling into his arms. "Thank you Rick. For everything. I understand if you're still mad…"

"I won't deny that I'm completely over it. But I understand a lot more now. Why you walked away, why you went on a date… And that you didn't mean to kiss him." Rick closed her arms around her. "You didn't mean to, did you?" He wondered.

She hesitated and he pulled back, not letting go, but far enough to look at her.

"I- I thought I saw you and I thought it would make you jealous… but I was going to leave it with a hug, a kiss on the cheek and maybe a little kiss, but Josh pushed me back and I got scared…"

"Oh Kate…" he pulled her close again.

"I know it was stupid. I acted like a teenager. And I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." He smiled "And I'm sorry I didn't help you and instead walked away."

"It's not your fault Rick… I didn't get to call out."

"He didn't hurt you did he?"

"No Rick, he didn't. I promise. He stopped when I managed to push him off and apologized."

"Good, because otherwise his colleagues would have some work with his broken bones."

She chuckled. "Hey, a laugh, that's what I'm talking about." She smiled again at that.

"I love your smile." He said, almost whispered, softly. Just like a week ago in the elevator, his eyes flicked from her eyes to her lips and back. Just in a second. But it was enough for her to know.

She leaned in closer and closer.

When their lips almost connected, he whispered "Are you sure?" in which she hummed and smiled, "I'm ready Rick."

She was the one who closed the gap just a second after she spoke. Her lips were soft on his. He waited for her to be ready while melting into the kiss. He was gentle with his tongue over her lips. And when she opened her mouth for him, she thought she was going to fall down. Her knees felt like jelly. She put her arms around his neck, never breaking her kiss, while he kept her close to him with him arms around her lower back. Once he knew she was steady on her legs, one of his hands trailed upwards towards her neck, into her hair. He loved her hair almost as much as he loved her smile.

If they were going to go on for much longer, they would both run out of breath and this would lead into something he knew she wasn't ready for. It wasn't the time.

As much as he wanted to keep this kiss going on forever, he softly pulled back, but not before gently finishing their first kiss the way it started, soft.

When he pulled away, she rested her forehead on his. They didn't speak. Neither of them could nor wanted to. This moment was perfect.

When he caught his breath, he picked her up which of course, surprised her. "Rick! Wha- " But before she could finish, his lips were once again on hers. It stayed softer this time because he was walking around, carrying her towards the couch.

When he sat down, still not breaking their kiss, she stayed on his lap. And when she finally pulled back, they moved positions so that her head was laying on his lap and he was stroking her hair.

"What do you want to do today? I should be writing, but I don't have inspiration. So we can do anything. I don't have to pick up Alexis until 4. And I don't really know where mother is." Rick sighed as he kept stroking Kate's hair with one hand, and resting his other one on the back of the couch.

Kate had an idea… "So… no inspiration? How's that?" she wanted to grin but hid it after confusion.

"Well, I can't write very well when my source of inspiration is gone." Kate moved onto his lap again and leaned into him for a kiss but teased a bit more.

"Then I guess I'll just have to give you some inspiration." Kate said as their lips brushed against each other but not yet a kiss.

"Oh but you do that every day." He whispered softly and right as he was going to kiss her she backed away.

"Wait, what?" she asked with a louder voice, jumping off of him lap and staring at him.

Rick cursed inside his mouth as he shifted.

"_I_ am your source of inspiration? _Me_?" Kate said hand on her chest as if pointing at herself. She was at a loss of words. Finally she managed to speak. "Why? How?"

He sighed, "Well, why is because I think you are an extraordinary, beautiful, powerful woman and it gives me idea's, a story line, a new female lead. And how is well, by just looking at you, thinking about you and your beautiful smile, I get inspiration. You're my muse."

Kate absorbed the information and shook her head trying to say to herself that he did not just say that. She couldn't believe it.

"Is that why you didn't let me read what you were writing that Sunday?" he just nodded.

"You didn't even ask me!" Kate exclaimed.

"Kate, why are you upset about this?" Rick really wondered why. Most people would be honored, but he also knew that Kate was not most people.

"Why not, Rick! I trusted you with my life story, I never tell anybody, I don't want you to write it down for the world!"

"Whoa- Wait, Kate… I didn't write about you and your life." Rick said.

"Then what could you possibly use from me as inspiration?"

"Well, my lead is called Scarlett Maximus Turner aka Agent Turner aka Scar, and it's a strong female with a background, but not yours, that knew Derek Storm from an earlier mission and loved him, so she wants to take down the people who are responsible for his death. I wouldn't put your life story in a book Kate. This is just a one book deal to fill the gap between the next series. I'm sorry I didn't ask but I honestly thought it would be a nice surprise."

Kate nodded slowly trying to figure this all out. "So nothing about me or my mom and dad?"

Rick shook his head. "I promise you Kate."

"Okay… But I want to read it before you hand it over." Kate said a little more relaxed.

"I would but I have to finish it today and well, I still have a lot to write before I hand the manuscript in."

"Rick, I read fast okay? You start writing and call me when you're done so I can start reading. I'll be watching tv." Kate said as she plopped down on the couch, pulling her legs up and grabbing the remote.

Rick took there for a moment. "Hey! What happened to the helping the inspiration coming along?!" he was enchanted by her lips. He craved for a kiss ever since they stopped.

"After you finish writing your book, and if I agree with it. Then I'll give you a reward."

And instant grin appeared on his face and he couldn't hurry faster to his office. He wanted to be done ASAP so that she could read it, and he would get a kiss.

But while he walked around the couch to his office, he couldn't resist but lean over from the back of the couch, put his hands under her chin, and lift it so that he could kiss her. If went by so fast she didn't even register what happened until a second later.

"Rick!" she exclaimed as she threw a pillow his way but missed.

"Oh Kate, you might be good with a gun, but your throw could use some work." He smiled as he stepped into his office, starting his laptop again to write.

A few hours later, when it was starting to get dark, he finished writing. They had shared lunch an hour after he started writing, and afterwards he just went on writing. They had lunch in his office because he wanted to keep writing. He was really looking forward to that reward.

Kate had spend that time watching tv. Reruns of her favorite shows, and after an hour or two, she had fallen asleep.

Rick walked out of his office and was about to call out for Kate when he saw her all cuddly asleep on the couch. He stopped for a moment to look at her and came up with a wake up plan. But just as he was about to walk towards her, he slipped over the pillow she threw earlier.

There was a loud thud from Rick falling and then a moan. Kate shot up. "Rick?"

"Yeah?" he moaned

"Oh my god Rick. Are you hurt?"

"No" he coughed from the air being pushed out of his lunges. "Just slipped" he coughed again as Kate kneeled down next to him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked him again as she checked for obvious signs of injury.

"Well… now that you say so…" he said softly, still moaning.

"What is it Rick?" she asked, voice full of concern.

She leaned over him when he shut his eyes and moaned 'head'.

He quickly opened his eyes, lifted his arm around her neck, and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Wha-" she managed to say before their lips connected. As he held her loosely against him, she put her hands on his chest and pushed herself up. "Rick! That is so not funny!"

"Well, I had a plan to wake you up differently but I had to do it with what I had, and that was a fall, by accident for the record. You should have really moved that cushion when you brought me lunch." He said as he got up right.

"I did, but I guess I moved it with my foot, just far enough for you to slip over. You are such a klutz sometimes."

"Well at least I got my kiss now." He smiled.

"Yeah, but for the scare, you're not getting one later." Kate said as she stood up, he quickly followed.

"Oh come on Kate!" when she didn't budge, he took it a step further. "Okay, but then you're not allowed to read my book."

"Oh you did _not_ just say that!" she scoffed but he remained serious. When he smiled because he knew he had won because she wouldn't kiss him afterwards, she knew what to do. She let Rick go back into his office to email Gina that it was done, and send it right away.

When Rick was writing the email, Kate walked into his office and went to stand behind him. First she just watched him write, then she put her plan in action.

She slid her arms from the back of the chair, to his shoulders, to his chest and crossed them around his neck while leaning in. She had his attention when she started placing light kisses on his neck.

"Kate, you're going to kill me if you keep doing that." He said as he spun his chair around so that she could place her knees next to his closed legs, sitting on his chair, and on his knees.

She was in the perfect position for her plan. "Did you sent the manuscript to Gina?" he just hummed in response. "Good" and her lips started her trail up to his lips.

Their lips connected and this fire in her built up, but she got to keep her head where it should be, with the plan. After a minute of her amazing kissing, the heat building up in him was starting to become too much.

"Kate, if you don't stop, I won't be able to stop either and this will lead to something too far."

She knew it was now or never. She pulled away, gave his a tempting look, and spoke, with a very raw, low voice, also known as the sexy voice.

"What's the matter _Castle_. Getting a little _problem_?" she smiled as she got herself even closer to him.

"Or do I have to say _big_ problem?" she said as her hand trailed down.

He sucked in a deep breath and was about to kiss her once more as she pushed herself off of the chair. Rick just sat there gaping at her. "Wha- Kate! You can't stop there!"

"That's what you get for tricking me!" she laughed as she walked out of the office.

**So, I hope you guys are happy. Leave reviews of your thought. I'm really sorry for the wait, but I hope this can make up for it. I planned on putting it up this morning, but I couldn't finish it before I had to go babysit.**

**Thanks to AngeiiK, I got this story done sooner.**

**And the reason why I didn't use Nikki Heat? Well, he's not following her yet so I thought it wouldn't be right. Again, Tell me what you thought that last part was like, K+, T or M?**


End file.
